<font color=7f1715>*send out the morning birds</font> [birthing]

Somehow she had known to find a den early on, before she�d grown so fat that digging and rearranging were beyond her. Somehow she had known approximately how roomy it should be. She had only made minor adjustments through the winter, as her belly expanded � padding the floor with leaves and loose dirt. Had she really never done this before? She was feeling quite smug as she checked the earthen sanctuary for the millionth time, the dark walls around her emanating solidarity and security, smelling of nothing but warm dirt and her own paws.

Beyond the entrance, her familiar forest was alive with its spring sounds � birds chattered away and lazy bugs drifted through the late afternoon. She watched from the tunnel as the evening crept in, scoring the clouds beyond the trees with blazes of red and purple. She was surprisingly relaxed when her labor pains began. And that was the end of her pleasant day.

It started quickly enough: the contractions wasted no time before closing in on each other. She moved from the tunnel into the wider den below, where she lay against the dirt with her eyes on the fading light beyond her birthplace. She hoped to see Sen before darkness fell � she would definitely appreciate the company during this ordeal. She was beginning to get scared.

The pain was coming stronger now, and she had been pushing for some time. Was it supposed to take this long? Something felt wrong. A great pressure had built itself up inside of her, and it would not budge, despite how hard she pushed, gritted her teeth, and ground her paws into the dirt. She was already tired, and knew, if only by her size, that there was a long way yet to go.

She took a moment to gather her strength, and her willpower (she had no idea what would happen when that pressure finally broke away), and then gave it everything she had. The pain was incredible, and she cried out for the first time, but the first puppy was finally out � back legs first. Instinctively, she knew this wasn�t right, and she gently repositioned him as labor resumed.

Everything hurt now, and the smell of her blood filled the den. She licked the first puppy clean, and he wriggled toward her after some moments, a small relief compared to the distress she felt. What predator could resist such a strong blood trail? And then to discover her, alone with helpless pups? It was becoming more and more obvious that she would be in no position to defend them, save laying down her life to distract whatever hungry thing came their way.

And she wasn�t entirely sure she was prepared to do that.

She clenched her jaws as the next wave of pain came, demanding herself to push, in spite of the exhaustion � darkness had long since fallen over the forest � and in spite of the horrible noises it drew out of her. She was wheezing as the second puppy came away; it felt as though the new life had literally stolen some of hers to come into the world. She would give anything for this to be done. But there was more.

She nudged the first puppy to her stomach, where he began suckling in earnest, after cleaning the second one � a female. Even as she situated the newest addition to the den, a third round of pains consumed her. She groaned into the dirt, her body convulsing with the power of the contractions, disturbing the little lives curled into the fluff of her stomach. They whined and wriggled in protest, but quickly worked their way back into position.

How much time passed? An hour? Two? She was so thirsty. The labor was doing its own work now � she didn�t have the energy to push anymore. She didn�t have the energy to fight it, either. When the third and final puppy slithered into the world, she was scarcely aware of it. She wouldn�t remember cleaning him or settling him in to nurse. The puppies seemed okay. All three had healthy appetites, their little paws pressing into her skin as they urged the milk to come faster.

But Hush was somewhere else. Her eyes were glazed over, blood still ran from her, and her breaths were shallow, raspy from exertion. On each exhale, a whimper broke the quiet of the den, pleading for help. What could anyone do? What wolf could carry water? What wolf could stop bleeding? Even knowing that there was little to be done, she just desperately wanted not to be alone.

they sing in clever tongues

oh, how my knees go weak

to be the one;

H U S H

five ** bound by Dante ** midwestern crater **

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