It seemed like a lifetime had passed since she’d last seen the cave where she and Damon had started their own lives, independent of those in the labyrinth. This had been their sanctuary from the stares at Ciara and the isolation both fairies had felt at a very young age. It was where they had loved and lived, where she’d been raped and later given birth to her beautiful baby boy. It was amazing that such dire circumstances could create such happiness. And it was where the small family had weathered Gwythr’s curses. It was where she and Nalani had born Harmony and given Damon a child that was biologically his. And it was whence she’d run as emotions had threatened to consume her. It was filled with a million memories, and now it seemed like she’d lost quite a few of them by being away. But if this garden were truth, maybe she could find them when she returned. Make more memories with her children, if they still wanted her around.

But how guilty she would feel, having to choose between this life in the garden and being with Arthur. She had no idea how long she’d been away, no knowledge of whether Tristan had been found. And yet, why should the crown prince mean more to Ciara than her own children? She had barely met the boy.

Guilt began to eat at her as she neared the dwelling, and it weighed her feet until she came to a halt. Why should she go back at all? Of course, Nalani was still on Shaman, but her familiar could come through the portal and join her, surely. It didn’t help when strong arms wrapped around her from behind and Damon’s stubbled face scratched at her.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered against her neck before planting a kiss. “Come on inside.”

Although Ciara had had her share of bed partners since returning to Shaman, not one had found her buttons as quickly as Damon could; not one could send jolts of electricity racing through her spine like him. But then, none of them were planning to stay more than one night anyway. They all walked away in the morning, just as Damon was walking away from her now. But Damon looked back at her with a smile, pulling Ciara forward and home.

The sun shone so brightly outside that it took a full minute for the woman’s eyes to adjust to the dark interior, but when they did, she wished they hadn’t.

This was not the home she’d known years ago. The walls were not stone but wood, rotting and termite-eaten at the edges of the boards. Colors ran, like they’d all be painted on, turning the world into a monochrome image right in front of Ciara’s eyes. The corners of the house – for it was no more a cave than you or I – ran with cracks and the windows were webbing with frost, like a frigid spider. It had changed, but she knew this was the fort she and Damon had built together. Where they had run to hide away and lock out the people around them. The tree house that Arthur and Lilith had defiled, as Damon had put it, with their joy and drink. There were the bottles in the corner, shattered as glass does when temperatures drop too low. But they had torn it down, then, before they had left. Destroyed this safehouse for another, more isolated homeland that could not be touched.

Ciara spun, in shock and horror that her dream world was turning to this. Behind her, the children stared at her, though their eyes seemed no longer to see. They, like the building, were faded and gray, but their lips were deep blue and their teeth chattered. The sound was like the rattling of chains, and the sight made Ciara ill.

“Where were you?” they murmured monotonously.

“It’s so cold and I’m hungry,” whined Harmony, her hand over her stomach.

Only then did Ciara notice how painfully thin her children were, each rib a mountain on their frail bodies. Neither noticed the tears freezing against their mother’s cheeks, just as Ciara didn’t notice the chill in the air, even as her own mouth and skin began to turn as blue as theirs.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she whispered to them. Damon’s hand fell to rest upon her shoulder, though it too was glacial. “I’m sorry.” Ciara couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes, any of them in the eyes, so she stared down at the floorboards.

“You left.”
“You left.”
“You left.”

Each spoke in turn. How did she right this wrong? Did she warm them with hugs and kisses? Would affection work at all since her absence had chilled them to the bones? Ciara reached to pull her children close to her, but as her fingers closed around the wrists of each child, the passed straight through.

Suddenly, the weather was noticeable. The scarred and vacant expressions were not looking at her, but through her. How long had they been dead? These were clearly ghosts of her family. Had the garden lead her to the spirit world and not a dream at all?

“Ciara!” The loud call echoed through her head, but the fairy didn’t know if she could trust the voice of her familiar. Doubt seeped along the telepathic connection between Nalani and Ciara. “Ciara, it’s time to come home. Come back.”

How? How did Nalani expect her to find her way back when all she had ever been able to do was get lost? She’d been lost in the labyrinth, even with everyone around. She’d run and pushed those who’d loved her away and then had disappeared. She’d disappeared and disappeared. Every time Ciara had needed to escape, she’d hurt everyone around her. Now she had to face the consequences of her actions; she had to see what happened to everyone she had left behind.

“Before we go, let’s tear this place down. So no one else can defile our place.” The words were a memory coming to life. She had struggled with the action the first time, but this was going to be much harder. If nothing else, this world was defiling the peaceful place in which Ciara had kept her son and daughter, where Damon had smiled warmly at her even after they had gone their separate ways. She knew how to get home to Nalani and Arthur so this fate didn’t await what little family she had left.

She had to tear it down.

Tentatively, her hand reached for one of the rotting boards. It felt loose, like it would have loved to leave the wooden frame behind, but as Ciara pulled, the nails refused to budge. Harder and harder she pulled, but the more she struggled the tighter the beam clinged to its companions. Relentlessly it held strong; though it wanted to be free from the binds that held it, it could not leave its place amongst them. They were all it had ever known.

“LET IT GO,” Damon shouted, his hand tightening its hold on her shoulder. Though he fought to pull her from her task, Ciara couldn’t give up. Nalani needed her, even if no one else did. “Stay with me! Stay here with us!”

It ripped her heart in two to have the love of her life begging her to stay while her familiar called through her mind. It took a lot of magic to send the message across worlds and she could feel the energy leaving Nalani as she continued to be what Ciara had requested: a beacon. Fear took over: fear for what would become of herself if she stayed, fears of what a familiar who had sapped every ounce of magic from the connection would be, and fear of what would happen to Nalani without a fairy to tether her to the world. Eyes shut and jaw clenched before Ciara could muster the willpower, but when she did, Damon was not ready for the charge of energy that came from Ciara. It was light and it was strength and he was propelled against the far wall, but there was no crash. He simply vanished.

Her children stepped closer as well, and Ciara watched them terrified. If she could create that force of magic and do that to Damon, she didn’t want to think of what could happen to Ithuriel or Harmony, even if they were already dead. She didn’t want to be another source of pain for them. But neither tried to stop her. Small hands took the board and lifted it free.

Harmony continued to stare into the hole they had created, while Ithuriel reached for his mother’s face. “Let us go, Mama. We’ll be okay,” he whispered, wiping his hand across her face to remove the ice crystals. They weren’t as cold as they looked when they touched her, and the ice instantly melted into shining drops of light. Ithuriel passed a drop to his sister, and they too became light before disappearing. Their passing was far more peaceful than Damon’s had been, but somehow that made it hurt much worse.

Nalani called again, fainter now, and Ciara took a deep breath. Let them go, he had said. It was much easier to say than to do it, but Ciara needed to let go of the Lagoon and her life there, just as she had let go of the connections she’d had to the Labyrinth when the couple had first run away from the only home they had known. There would be other homes, she told herself, a new life. Damon was gone; her children were gone. No hoping, no crying, no wishing could bring them back from the dead.

As she told herself each thought, a board pulled itself free from the walls of her icy prison. One by one falling until a hole, just large enough to squeeze through was formed. Light shone from beyond it, casting shadows around, and it was those shadows that Ciara first noticed growing. Bathed in the light, Ciara found the strength to stand and slowly, as though learning to walk for the first time, walk toward the exit of the fort, into the heart of light – or maybe it was hope.

As she crossed the threshold, the resolve to get away broke and Ciara crumpled to the ground, finally back in Shaman. Her skin was gray and her lips blue from the cold, but Nalani didn’t care as she held her fairy closely, warming her and loving her for returning in one piece. Noise from the other fairies in the clearing overwhelmed the woman as her own arms wrapped around the one companion she’d always had around. It wasn’t Ciara who’d escaped the garden, but Nalani who had pulled her free from the wreckage of her memories.

And yet, in the back of her mind, the treehouse fort loomed, with only a single hole to show for what had been put behind her.