How long had it been. Since I have been out of Diveen, since I have been in the free lands and… Since I have been with her. Ruvindra.

Dark frame dodging the trees as I walk slowly through the forest, through the woods. Like so long ago. My body is not the same as it had been. I am stronger. Some time ago I didn’t have much muscle and wasn’t so strong as I am now. I have my name back, my honor had been restored. Still my heart had been shattered and now all I seek to do is try and catch the pieces and put them back together so perhaps I can feel better, so perhaps the stinging pain of years and years in the blinding pain goes away. I did this. It is my fault and the fact that there is nobody to blame pains me as well as makes me feel better. There is nobody to blame so nobody have to feel the same weight against their back. So many times I have been broken and every single time I have raised again. But that same process, each time becomes harder, taking each piece of my broken form and putting them back together so I can walk again and be with those I love.

Here I am once more picking myself up and preparing myself. Admitting to Amir that I haven’t killed his mother had been very hard. Amir was relieved and I could see the kindness, the hope and that very same Amir I could see nine years ago, when he was that kind and pure pup, the pup who would feel bad for winning a play fight against his own brothers. Oh, Amir. I can’t describe the happiness I felt for seeing that light back to your eyes, to your heart. Now you can live. But my heart after finding out about so many things I did. If I hadn’t attacked Diveen, would they have taken Vidar from us, would Iromar be Diveen’s enemy? Would Devil have attacked him and put a scar deep in his heart like that? Why…

I fell on the ground on my belly and put my paws on my eyes, hiding my tears as they rolled down my muzzle. Ruvindra came to my head then. We had been together for such a long time, we have been through so much. She betrayed me. The worst of all, she thought I didn’t know. Now, we have taken different paths. I am only glad Ska is with me. My girl, my baby girl. I am so afraid something could happen to her.

I will… I will soon get over all this again I know I will. I just don’t know when. When this pain will go away. If anyone would be able to take this pain away.

I sobbed softly to myself, quietly in the woods.