twelve - no heart - no soul - Spirane
this is her in blackouts

Her time in this land has not been long and Natu has been rather absent as of late. It is in her nature to wander and seek new places, new hideouts, a byproduct of her youthful years and the loss that reverberates so fully throughout her being. Although Purge does not know what it is to love so fully as Moonglow and Alcide, Natu has lost both her mate and children so long ago it feels as if it is a memory. Perhaps her love was not as strong, she thinks as she gazes down upon the utterly still bodies of Purge's predecessors. To have loved to fully that her soul could not bear a moment without it's counterpart. Perhaps, Natu ponders, she misses only the companionship that such a love would bring. It is a startling discovery - does she still mourn for her love or for the presence that was in her life, uplifting her? Was she truly so selfish to twist such thoughts within her mind?

Lately her mind had been tormented by such. She had been gone for a few moments, hovering in the otherworld where her dead family lay in wait. A few seconds with them was bliss and she had felt whole but maybe it was only because she felt so alone in this world. The constant whirling of her thoughts brought on a painful headache that made her shut her eyes for a few moments while Skully recited a prayer so it looked as if she was invested in such words when really she was too selfish to even notice. Too absorbed. When had she come to this?

Trying to shake away the pain and dizziness Natu peers out once more at the slowly gathering pack. She feels weary and looks a sight, she imagines, for there is a gouge that is healing right before her right ear and torn flesh on that same shoulder that is slowly knitting back together. If not for Ailith then she would most likely have passed on into the otherworld like the pair before her - and would it have been better? She had never before been so bitter at the world or herself, merely sad, but there was always an undercurrent of anger ever since her encounter with Lillith.

She does not know these wolves despite having lived here; it is high time she seek out their companionship. Well Purge had given her hunting tasks and what better way to get to know her packmates than hunting with them? With that set in mind she pricks her ears and watches as Zildjian moves away to find a rock before lifting her own body from its prone position and looking around. She is not quite as fancy as he is in her selection but she manages to find a heavy stone and rolls it skillfully towards the two bodies and her Alpha. Where the previous two members have spoken Natu does not; she simply pushes the stone to the burial mound and places it carefully before glancing at Purge and dipping her maw in respect.

Whether Purge is sincere in her apologies or not, Natu does not know, but she is the Queen here and she was at least trying to reconcile the deaths. Life was vicious and power created a strange set of circumstances so she could not judge the female.