She admired the concern in his tone but it also made her desperately desire to comfort and sooth his concerns and tell him everything was alright but she couldn’t say these things or even act on her instinct she was so concerned she didn’t dare gaze in his eyes as she spoke. “I fear your anger will befall me Attu… please don’t send me away.” She said clearly disheartened. Perhaps if it was any other male she had met and shared company with she would not care or even bother tell him of her horrific shames but because she did care she placed herself in an area she was easily trodden upon for sharing her dark truths. She had wished she had met Attu first so she didn’t have to fear so much yet Enderly had done nothing more than what was natural. She was not sure if he cared but it didn’t matter for she felt he was not meant for more than a friend/acquaintanceship. “Attu…” She begins afraid to lift her head or gaze “Before we met something happened… I didn’t think I would meet anyone and had wanted a family… I, you… we…” She couldn’t even complete her sentences knowing, hoping he would put them together. “I am sorry… do not be angry with me… you’re a father as well Attu.” She didn’t dare move from her place as she waited for him so speak and to hear his judgment on the situation as she forced herself to prepare for the worst.

To be left alone with no one to care was nothing new and yet the pain was still agonizing. She knew Coza and the rest of her pack cared but it was not the closeness she desired nor could they or would they comfort her with their presence. She wondered to her children’s futures; would they rue her for actions think her weak for falling prey to her desires and longings. To disappoint her children was not her hopes where but she would suffer what she must and would hold nothing against them if they held distain for her. She would always fight for them, love them, and be there for her children no matter what the future held they where her world now and she could only hope she could add at least one more in it… Even now as she waited for Attu’s words her thoughts wondered to her unborn pups and smiled giving her enough comfort to lift her gaze even if it is only a small amount. As she gains courage she straightened her stance and gazes upon his frame, unable to avoid the fact her hopes where still the same.