 |
Lost, confused, hurt, and angry. So, so angry. With no other emotions to tie it into, everything becomes red hot anger. Every day for the past six months, I have hunted her. I have tried looking for her trail, trying to sense her presence but to no avail. She is just not anywhere. But how can that be possible? She is my world, my everything. How can she just not be there? Not be here? Not be anywhere? And every night I have killed. Male, female, child, pack member, loner. It doesn't matter. All have deserved death for standing in my way of finding her. Forever will I search until I find Atania. No other can compare, no other can distract me from my goal. I know that I deserve this, in a way. I drove her away. She got upset with me because of the thing. The child that called her mom. I told her that I didn't want it, that I wanted it to go back to the way it was, when it was just me and her, and no one else. I wanted it to go away and she got upset, even angry at me. She cried and it tore me up inside. Just thinking about the tears streaming down her face makes my own eyes watery, though I don't know why. I only get angrier. The child has left as well but that doesn't bother me. I wanted it gone and maybe it heard me. Maybe it heard our arguement and decided to go away on its own. That would be fine with me. I never wanted it in the first place. It came into this world bloody and blind, weak. It hurt her on the way out and I could never forgive it. She was weak for days and my Ani is never sick or weak. She is always playful and teasing and strong and sexy and all those things and it took that away from her. Couldn't she see that? Couldn't she see that it made her weak? I wonder sometimes late at night after a kill if it took her with it, the child. If Ani decided that it meant more to her than me so she left. That just makes me angrier. Perhaps I'll kill again tonight. Blood stills tains my coat. I do not care to clean it. Why should I? When I find her, I will make her feel guilty for leaving me. She will be punished for making me do this. These lives will be on her. I find another trail in the fields and start stalking it. The lake is just to my right but I move softly along the shoreline, following the trail. It is not her but for now, it's something better. Another kill to wet my appetite, another kill to stop the pain of her loss. Adonis_male_six years old_entranced by 39", 190 lbs. Devil May Cry x Natalya * sired by Brother to Atania |