maybe

(music ^^^^)

My feet shifted nervously as I sat, waiting for and wondering just who would answer my song. I didn't know how I would be received if it was a pack member I was familiar with, after the way I had just left them so suddenly I was sure they held some displeasure in my choices; the one I worried about most being the mountain queen herself, Daenerys. I was walking into a situation I could not guess the outcome too, and it left my stomach in knots. There was always the possibility I would not be welcome back, and then where would I go? Taviora with Natu and her family I suppose, but the damage at that point would be done, and whatever was left of my fragile psyche would be broken once more. To lose another home would be a devastating.

It does not take long for one of the diligent wolves of the mountain to find their way down to me. My ears prick up and I freeze up in anticipation, watching with hesitant blue eyes for who would appear. They widened slightly at the familiar grey form of an old friend, one whom I left behind when I made my decision to follow Natu to the plains: Sleekwing. We had sparred once, cut short by unfortunate circumstances that would not allow us to continue, but it was enough for me to learn about him in ways that only fighting another wolf can. He truly was the Castellan of the mountain, and, if all went well, we could continue our spar and build a deeper friendship. I can just only hope he can forgive me for leaving.

I am a shell of the wolf I once was. My icy blue eyes holding a nervous stare on him until he smiles, allowing my body to relax. There didn't appear to be any malice or grudge held against me, at least that I could see on the surface layer, and I am given to smile back, my tail giving a few gentle wags from its low position. “Ailith, it is good to see you again. How have you been?” he asks, his voice as sincere as I remembered it to be. He was always so noble from what I had learned about him, a wolf with a good heart.

"She is happy to see Sleekwing again too,"I say, a kind, genuine smile dancing across my face. I find myself lost staring into his welcoming, warm gaze. But his question about how I have been since my departure slowly brings me back to reality, my smile fading all to fast to be replaced with one filled with sadness. I cast my gaze down, to avoid having to look into his dark blue eyes and fill myself with anymore guilt. "Life has been most cruel to her," I say, my voice a lot quieter than how it had originally been. I stop there because I know if I say anything more I will cry and lose my composure entirely.

I was going to ask him how he had been to try and stop my weakness from showing anymore, but another question slipped out entirely. "Does he think that Daenerys will let her come back?" I ask, my head raising to meet his gaze once more. In the faint morning light, the tears that had welled up at the corners of my eyes could be seen. My ears had fallen back in a pitiful, silent plea of a desperate wolf. I had no more pride, and if she turned me away, no more home. I would only have Natu and her family, and that was it. But they all had their own lives, and so I really had no one but myself.

A truly lonely existence.

10 years | loveless | tied to Eric | Spirane | ♥