This feels like the last time I had left home. I always hated winter. The most depressing time of the year when all my song bird companions have gone making it hard to no longer stay calm. I was frustrated and needed get some non-mountain home fresh air. I am not sure what turmoil fate enjoys putting me through it’s like some game it likes to play with my heart and soul. My sister since finding her imprint seems to be… engrossed in him I come to find they are also mates now as well. She is four far too young in my opinion to be having mates or partaking in any… winter activities… but who am I to tell her no when she is heart and soul with the one she wishes to ‘play’ with. I hate it. I growl and almost feel like retching at the very thought of her potentially having puppies this season. I love children, I have helped father many that were not my own. Haven and Idunn, my little sisters were almost entirely raised by myself, then I am always a constant presence for my niece and nephews out of Daenerys as well though Jericho seems to have taken the reigns of those children leaving me a silent watcher of them. That is fine. He is her mate now after all, and was there far more often than I would have expected seeing as they were not his children to raise, but they accept him as such a figure I think and I content myself I that.

I think about all of this and ponder the idea that my own soul seems to be so fickle in what it desires. Am I jealous of my siblings? No, I am happy for them. However I do wonder what makes my soul attach and break and if that is… normal. I have relinquished the idea that Iophiel and I didn’t bond again, I wonder if there is something I am missing, something that makes those who I bond with simply vanish. Each time I find my soul bound I am left to be ripped apart and broken. Three times now, though I admit, the bond with Iophiel felt… weaker. It was like each time I was ripped my soul became calloused making me care less and less and this time was the weakest of all. I knew it happened, but it was not like that of the first time our souls locked together where I was like wandering mindlessly trying to find her to repair the broken bond. I just… accepted it. She was in the clouds, she roamed and spoke of spirits and maybe they lured here to whatever place she came back from.

I shrug my fiery shoulders, continuing my way through the warmer area until a scent reaches me, one that was quite familiar and caused me to sigh. I couldn’t forget that scent. My soul was strange there was one other save for Iophiel that captivated it, but the span was over such a short time and meeting I thought maybe it hadn’t been anything at all. It was Solara. I was certain another angel that stolen me once but then Mother died and the mountain fell into Chaos and when I went to raise Idunn and Haven in Diveen she wasn’t there. It was an illusion I think that I felt maybe my soul had bonded to her, or maybe it wasn’t. I felt compelled to see her even though it might have been nothing I was still curious I suppose. I move over the lands with ease. My fiery form bright amongst the frost and snowed over area.

It was then I saw her mostly ebon form. She was moving towards me as if she was making her way to my home. I stopped, feeling my posture relax slightly. I was very curious about what would happen now. Would my soul attach to her? Was it nothing the first time? I felt something, but it could have just been my mind playing tricks on me because my soul was in tatters, that was for certain. Maybe I would never find another imprint broken as I was. I couldn’t stop myself from speaking to her at least.

”Solara.” I started in my song like tones. I couldn’t help but sound rather to the point, and try not to sound accusatory as I continued. ”You’ve returned.” She had left… but why? Was it that feeling had we bonded? Did all who attach to me see fit to run away? I suppose I could simply be too broken now or I was too much before to keep those who I was bonded around. I was aloof and I had a lot of responsibilities… it could be that as well. I am starting to think something was wrong with my soul and maybe today I would find out what it was.