There is irritation in my frame, my head was pounding and I was hungry, this winter taking its tole on me, though I am passed my season for whelps. Taking a break is best this time, I need to let my body heal from my fight. It itches ferociously, and I must remember not to scratch at the scabs that formed over it. Swelling still remains, and I must clean it of debris from the woodlands away at the river. The bite looks bad, but I have been lucky and well taken care of in regards to infection. I know something of healing, hell, I had to learn. Malikye had been the type to push and shove for perfection, and he had not done so nicely.

Beneath my white cashmere pelt there are a myriad of scars and old wounds. Some of them are from this fight, some of them from Rhae, and some from Reaver. Still, the only time I have failed was against my father, and now Amoxtli. To say I am not taking the loss well would be an understatement. I missed my depth perception, and the orb that went with it. Slowly I was adjusting to my eye being gone. The hard lump in my chest was a mark I would wear for some time though picking at the scab, I have noticed a rather quickly healing puncture mark. I do not even fret over the shallow cuts on my side, it is my eye I am concerned about.

Moving toward the river, I make sure to keep my ears alert and my good eye keeping watch, I lower the right side of my face gingerly into the icy depths of Aplos River. Though the river was actually shallow, I felt as though I could get lost in the biting numbness it brought after a few seconds of ferocious burning, then the swelling would go down, and the scabs would loosen and slough off where they weren't needed. The jagged edges of the injury were scars already, but my eye was still sad to look at. The eye does not close on its own, and so, I have a hole in my head where one beautifully electric gaze once docked. I have given a piece of myself to the forest, and I will always have a reminder for it. Though I have a feeling if I try for my dream again, I will be constantly tested because I was no longer whole.

"I should have given him his pound of flesh in the beginning of the fight." I mumble into the water, making hateful bubbles rise as I think of how I can get my daughter into power and not have her make the same mistakes that I did. I have no problem living vicariously through Widow, and I know her twin will be by her side. Gehenna may be deaf, but she was deadly, and no one would get passed them if they were to rule. I would be safe from my enemies and the land of Moladion would know what true terror was. I had to find them, and so I pick my face up out of the water, that look of brilliance in my eye. It was clean, and numb for now, though with the snow on the ground, I kind of feared hypothermia. Fear not, friends, I shall not die.

I understand when a career has ended, and with just one eye, there are too many variables to consider. I would be responsible for lives that are not my own and are not related, I would be expected to defend their home and children, I would have to provide food and shelter for all of the wolves beneath my wings and I simply could not with only one eye. What that bastard did not know was that I have children, and they are just as vicious as their parents if not more so. I would be back as I had promised, just not in my own reign. Now, I only had to bug Widow's ear and get her training.