don't look for me cause i'm too far gone...
He felt guilty for not seeing her sooner, but he had a hard time looking at anyone close to him for some time. Let alone the female that shared his soul. He had become a monster for the better part of a year. Wandering and barely surviving not thinking or feeling anything but broken and still he was slowly beginning to recover from it all. Solara’s take over allowed him a fresh start almost. Meryl didn’t think he would see eye to eye with Achilles. Always that boy had been a little more difficult to get alone with and thus far Solara seemed to rule a bit more like her mother. Sure she was a bit more brash than Isola ever could have been, but she didn’t quite get that self-assuredness that his father, Heyel and Achilles seemed to have. Meryl knew full well how to deal with it, but honestly he was getting a bit too old to pander.
He was by no means ancient, but he knew he didn’t have time to deal with ‘my fur just won’t lay right do I have a skin rash?’ issues when really all it was was potentially bed fur. Gone was the more patient wolf that Meryl used to be. And while he still loved and was caring it was harder to penetrate him, to the point he would share affection anymore. He didn’t really show any level of affection to anyone but Yin and his daughter. Ame was an enigma to him now, he worried constantly for his son running around Moladion with no one but some other male Meryl had never met, but there had been no word that he was dead and Meryl just had to accept that. He had kept an ear out for his son as he moved over the lands on his long trek to Spirane, not hesitating to cross the borders and begin making his way up the mountains to the familiar den that Daenerys had occupied but soon changed direction.
Imprinting was a strange thing, but he could feel she was not here rather towards the mid part of the mountain closer to the edges of her realm. He followed the trails until soon he found himself being slightly rained on, but he didn’t let it stop his progress towards where Daenerys had gone. Soon he was rewarded. Her silvery form was resting on the rock and not far Meryl could hear the little voices of pups. The gathering. It was today? He supposed so, it was so easy to lose track of time sometimes. It meant soon enough Solara would be needing him and potentially their newest member Malleah. Meryl didn’t bother them too terribly much but he kept an eye on the two expecting mothers. Sometimes he wished and Yin would let their family grow but his feeling, or lack of feelings, made it hard to think he would be any better father this round than he had been the last. Sure he had loved them unconditionally when he was around but after… He just couldn’t put children through these feelings again.
Still he managed a small smile at the sight of his soul before calling out to her, trying for the moment to put the somber thoughts of his own mental state aside.
”I’m sorry I have been gone for so long.” What better way to start out something than to gently stir up the very thing he wanted to bury. His scars were probably enough to provoke her prodding anyway. Scars all over the back of his scruff and shoulders then of course the ones from his first attack, the first point where he became strained… She would probably ask and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from her. He didn’t want too either.