Why did she feel this way? Why was she acting like this? There had only been few times where such anger boiled into her and usually it dealt with being physically hurt by some prey, not other wolves and certainly not Dexter. She felt so bad once she was there, once she realized what she was doing but she also felt she had to do it. She could see the fear in his eyes but pushed through anyway. He had to listen to her, know that he was fine, that THEY would be fine, and running away, ignoring her just killed her. She just never expected it out of him, of all the wolves, the big brave Dexter, who now she knew hunted down killers for recreation, running away from her. It hurt way worse to think that he couldn’t talk to her, face her, than being told that he liked some other girl. Though that still stung too.

So she didn’t feel immediate regret as she hunted him down like the prey she usually took out this blinding sudden feeling from. She didn’t even notice him slow, taking the initiative to put him on the cold ground instead. Tuari was a big, strong, huntress. Perhaps not meant for raw power like the male she had now rolling on the ground, but strong and athletic nonetheless. Even if she could have growled she wouldn’t have, her face contorted so frustrated and hurt by what was going on. She never would have thought she would be doing this to him of all wolves. Her golden ears twitched at the surprised sound of his voice as he stared up at her. At the very least it seemed he was paying attention at the moment. Which was what she wanted, though the surprise, shock and borderline fear she could do without.

She spoke like this for years to Jinan, he was a true master of lip reading, despite being deaf as long as he was paying attention he could understand every word said to him as long as the speaker wasn’t going to fast. Tuari too had worked at speaking for a time, forming words with her lips trying to figure out how to mock her father when she was young. She still couldn’t speak long sentences or a lot, no one really tried to watch her face that closely. He seemed to understand her though as she said she didn’t want him to run. His reply was unexpected, and perhaps in normal circumstances she would have been taken aback, even upset that he would ever think she would hurt him badly. Still she didn’t want to go off topic quickly saying what she had too, before all the weight seemed to return to her.

She just felt… tired now.

She did think she misunderstood, looked too far into what he said. Of course he meant cared for her as a friend and she loaded too much hopeful emotions into his words about wanting a family and everything else. She read into it too far, thought he did want, care about her that way. More than friends, like partners. Tuari was still sitting there hunched over slightly. She felt bad for pinning him, scaring him, now that it was over. She didn’t have it in her to apologize for that too. Maybe she was the real monster here. Flying into fits of blind actions like that. Least what he did he knew what he was doing.

Her ears pinned against her head rubbing one of her black paws to her face and rubbing her golden marked eyes. She hadn’t realized she had been crying until now. She was more upset with herself knowing she hadn’t noticed and he had. She was just frustrated with herself in so many ways now. Being mute had always been a struggle, but now she wished she could just get it to go away. Never before now had she wanted that, it never lead to issues before but now it just felt like it was messing everything up. Maybe if she was able to talk he would have known sooner, maybe if she wasn’t so worried about getting in the way or hurt she would have maybe mentioned something before now without making this… mess.

She didn’t look at him when he spoke, she couldn’t honestly bring herself too. She did nothing but frown and stare at the ground, trying to make herself feel numb to everything again, like she did with Levi being gone. It was better to just shut down and feel nothing than hurt. Her golden ears twitched to show she at least acknowledged what he was saying to her. Though she shook her head when he kept saying it was his fault, that he was a horrible friend. No, she wouldn’t have that. Dexter was one of the most affable wolves she knew, she shouldn’t be surprised that he met and talked to many others, got someone else on his radar that wasn’t her. It wasn’t like she had a way of telling him, making it more obvious and it wasn’t like she was making it obvious at all to begin with. No, it was her fault.

Once he was done she slowly turned her head to look at him, raising one of her black paws to her chest and touching it. It was her fault. All of it. If anyone was too immature for kids it was her. After all she had been the one that held it all in waiting for him to maybe say something. She didn’t have a right to be hurt or angry about any of this.

She gave him an apologetic look before forcing her tail to flick through the leaves. She was trying to put her mask back on. Make things go back to before she assumed things, but the damage was done. It didn’t stop her desire to be close to him, but she would try and keep herself at arm's length if that’s what it took. After all pushing him away more was the last thing she wanted.