He knew that his father only saw the good in everyone, him included. He didn't feel deserving of Coza's love most of the time because if his father only knew what he did in his spare time, he would probably be disappointed. It wasn't the life Coza would have wanted for him. He would never understand the pull of blood that Dexter had felt all his life. He wondered if something was wrong with him mentally but he'd pushed past that early on in life. He'd given up trying to fix himself and just plunged right in, embracing who he was to the core. He had a dark passenger and that's just the way it is. He had to kill but it didn't mean he had to kill the innocent. No, he would help rid this world of evil in his own way. He would take out the bad and maybe some day he could see a world where there was only good. Maybe it wouldn't be in this lifetime but maybe if the stories were true, some day he would see a glimpse of it from the stars. He knew that Coza's lineage was working its way into the books of legend, one generation at a time. He expected only great things from his own children but he could be a little biased in that department.

He was sure Coza only wanted for him what he himself had in their mother, Moth. She was his imprint, his other half, his soul mate, the love of his life. And his best friend. Dexter found a best friend early in life when he met Calliel and then again when he met Tuari. He knew Coza probably expected him to find love before now, but his mind worked in different ways than that of Amoxtli and Zeltzin. Amoxtli was a guardian, a protector and family man from the start. He always watched over Dexter and Zeltzin, making sure they never got into too much trouble. Zeltzin was a trouble maker like him as a pup but she always had a heart of gold and wore her heart on her sleeve. It was destined that they would find someone to make them eternally happy some day. For Dexter, he thought that life was long gone even before Calliel disappeared. When he made his rules for killing the monsters in the world, he knew that risks were involved and he didn't want anyone to get hurt. So he decided that he would have no attachments, nothing a killer could use against him.

Of course, he cheated again and again. He stayed in Taviora and brought the killers right to their doorstep with his first kill. He saw the damage that could be done when you involve loved ones so it changed something in him, made him a little harder. He wanted only the best for his family so he left Moladian, figuring it best. That way, no one else could hurt them for something he did. Now he had more than a handful of wolves he cared about. He was messing up again and again. Hope glimmered in his eyes when Coza told him that Asriel needed a role model in his life and he hoped Dexter would find him and his brother Shem to help fill that role. Dexter didn't know if he considered himself such a good role model but he did sense a connection of some sort to Asriel and he wanted to delve into it a little more. He nodded.

"I can do that. Do they stray far from Taviora?"

He only needed to be pointed in the right direction and he would make sure he was available for his relatives. There was something intriguing about Asriel and he wanted to know more about him. Maybe he would even find a like soul in the younger wolf. As for Shem, if he was anything like his brother, Dexter wouldn't mind mentoring him in a way too. It didn't mean they had to know what he did for a living. They only had to know that he protected Taviora, not that he tried to protect all of Moladian in his free time. He didn't really understand how Coza felt about Asriel's father, Eden, but it was apparent he wanted a male in their life other than their father. Worried about his influence? Dexter could understand that more knowing that Eden could have something to do with Amoxtli's poisoning and also knowing that he could possibly house a young slave called Zafira, a pup from Iromar. He hoped it wasn't true but he planned on finding out, one way or another. He wasn't going to pass judgement on Eden until he knew the facts but he could understand Coza's wariness.

His suspicions were confirmed when Coza told him that Zeltzin had been bringing him herbs for his pain. Dexter nodded in acknowledgement with a soft smile, glad his sister was coming through for Coza as he knew she would but also glad of his father's humor for indulging his children.

"The gods wouldn't put the herbs on the earth for us to learn about if they didn't expect them to ease you into your later years, dad. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

His brows furrowed in worry. But then Coza turned the subject to pups and Dexter knew he couldn't keep this from Coza. He didn't want to. His father deserved to know he had grandchildren and Tuari and Talien would want him in their lives. He was a great grandfather to have. He could sense his father's concern long before he started talking. Coza as always good at reading his children. As he explained, he closely observed his father's body language. He knew Coza would never do what he had done. He made his choice and made it seem easy, though Dexter wondered sometimes if there was more to the story. Was there ever a connection before his imprint to Moth? Was there a best friend that could have turned into more? How easy was the decision that Coza had to make? Maybe his father would tell him some day. But there was no doubt in his mind that once his decision was made, Coza stuck to it faithfully. He was Moth's everything and she gave him a litter even though it almost killed her. She wanted to give him the world, or at least what she could of it before she was gone.

They were both about sacrifice and maybe that's part of what made them so great together. Coza was deep in thought most of the time but there were moments where Dexter read the disappointment in his eyes and it made his chest tighten like he couldn't catch a breath. His father was his idol above all else and to know he had let him down hurt him worse than anything. But Coza deserved to know. He had no idea what his father would tell him or what advice he would give but he knew that he would take it to heart. He could tell that Coza was choosing his words carefully when he did speak. He was making it sound like a good thing when Dexter knew the tone of his words spoke of anything but. Words like sacred and comparing his hopes to what he had with Moth. Dexter hung his head, already feeling shamed. He knew this wasn't what Coza wanted for him. Happiness, a family, children, yes, but not in this way. He had let his father down.

Coza was still trying to help him though, trying to offer understanding of the situation while explaining that things can work out. He brought up Eden and Zeltzin as examples and Dexter's gaze lifted in hope. Yes, they had children together but weren't mates. He told Dexter he wasn't heartless. Dexter knew it didn't feel like it. He felt broken and confused and then hated himself because he didn't deserve to feel that way. He was responsible and he had hurt them. They deserved to know what had happened and decide for themselves but his heart would be shattered if his children were hurt because of it, or if he wasn't allowed to be in their lives. He nodded.

"You are right, as always. I will fix this, somehow. I just...I don't know how to decide. I don't know how to know who I love more...the very thought makes me feel sick to my stomach because all I've ever known is that I'm supposed to love ONE wolf. It's like I'm cursed because I can't imprint. Is this what its like to have an imprint and have feelings for someone else? I have nothing to compare it to. How do they ever know how to choose?"

He knew this was probably hard for Coza and it only made him feel more grateful to his father for hearing him out and not passing judgement as he knew Zeltzin probably would. He would never ask anyone to help him choose because that wasn't right to either Tuari or Talien. He only wanted some knowledge on others who may have been in this position and their story, how they went about making a decision. Surely he wasn't doomed for it, but he had to know more before he jumped to a decision. This had to be well thought out. There were two very important hearts on the line and he couldn't mess up again. He wouldn't. Coza was trying to help as much as possible but it looked like he was faltering, asking Dexter if there was more he could do. He would never stop wanting to help his family. It was a steady trait in his line. Dexter smiled softly, but his brows furrowed when his father mentioned a name. Fathom? He didn't believe he had heard this name before. Was it important? He tilted his head.

"Who was Fathom, dad? I just wondered...was there anyone before mom? Anyone who caught your interest around the same time? I hear all about the strength of a bond when you imprint, the pull it can have, the devastation it can cause to a relationship. I know I don't have that with Talien or Tuari, but sometimes I feel like my heart is torn in two, one half with each of them always. My soul may not have another half, but my heart is definitely struggling."

Then his father asked a question that brought only joy to his heart. He wanted to see them. Dexter wanted nothing more than to see the love in his father's eyes when he saw his new grandchildren. Dexter had been sure to tell them all about him so they wouldn't be strangers. Coza was such a big influence on his life, it only made sense that his children know all about him. He beamed at Coza.

"Of course you can see them. It might be easier to do it one family at a time, if you catch my drift, but you most certainly can see them. I'm sure Talien and Tuari wouldn't mind at all. Yes they have names. There are four girls and one boy total. The girls are Citlalli, Petra, Itzel, and Lixue. The boy is Eztli. They are beautiful, dad. Would you like me to help you get this offering? I don't mind."

He offered softly, not wanting Coza to think he thought of him as too old or crippled to take down a boar but even for a young healthy wolf, that could still be a chore. He didn't want his father going out and getting himself hurt because of old traditions. His father seemed excited about this, a sense of purpose in his gaze. It looked good on him.