there is no greater pain
or punishment than memory

Some of it. This sticks in his mind and so many things revolve around it, around what it meant, what parts of it had been true, what parts had not. Yeah, the things that had been said weighed heavily upon his mind, and jabbed at him the last time he had seen her. Poked at him now, too. This was why he asked; to try and put to rest some of that. But Echidna is not forthcoming with anything more on that answer, and Quinn can only hold down the rush of questions that fill his mind and threaten to spill over in words. This may not be the right time to get into all of that. He had to choose carefully with where the conversation was going. He might not like the direction of it. Which wouldn't be any surprise.

Quinn had worried. He had been uncomfortable by all of what he had seen of Echidna back in Knell, but what was his own discomfort to what looked like her peace of mind? She was doing something with her life back there. Something worthwhile, something astounding -- being that it was her opening an orphanage when he had always known her to dislike children -- and Quinn had been at such a loss for what to do about all of that. He was still pretty speechless on the subject of it. If she brought it up now, he wouldn't know what to say in response, because it was such a twist of events when it came to her. He didn't know what to do or say then, and he still didn't know what to do or say about it now.

She was explaining about Knell, about needing to find him there, though she didn't remember all of what she had thought back then. Quinn nods at this, not sure if he wanted to poke at any of it, but thinking that if she had forgotten it, then maybe there were reasons for that. Echidna went on about not knowing what she wanted, about how it was maybe to be his friend if he wanted that. Telling him that she felt that he never wanted to see her again. Quinn blinked at her owlishly. "I know that we weren't in the greatest of places between us before Knell, but I had thought that we were okay. We were," He pauses, trying to figure out the right words for it; "We had something still there, didn't we?" The words were quiet, uncertain.

Maybe he had been wrong, maybe he had thought it was more back then than what Echidna had seen it as. How ironic that would be now. But he had to point out that he had never seen the gap that it had become when they had been in the place before Knell. Knell was where he had seen the chasm between them. Or felt it on a level that had cut into him. Still he had accepted it, accepted her decision to have it that way. Now it just sounded like something had gotten vastly lost in translation between those days and Knell. His thoughts halted when Echidna finished her words, and he stared at her. She still loved him, and she was angry about it. Quinn could understand that. He sighed. None of this was easy for either of them.

So he just dove into it. He took a breath and spoke his mind on the matter she had brought up. "What I know is that my feelings didn't just stop because things got messy. I don't want you to foster hope because of that, though. I'm not in a good place right now with who I am, so I can't really be anything solid for anyone else, either. Plus there's that little fact that after the whole Knell thing, I'm not even sure who you are anymore. you confused the hell out of me back there, Echidna. I no longer know what to believe." He paused for a moment to let it all sink in, then when on; "But I do want to be your friend. I'd like to get to know you again, if you'll let me." And now he had to wait and see what she'd say to that.

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