Echidna doesn’t make a move.

Planted firmly there in front of him, all the anger washed off her. He looks strange, like someone she might have known before. Kids were a hard topic. If she’d been smart, there wouldn’t have been any. Every venomous word he says rolls off her and she is left numb to everything. Part of her knew he was right, she should have been honest but it was such a long time ago. He wouldn’t let her get away with any of it now, she would have to carry these wounds with her for the rest of her life. There wouldn’t be any forgiveness.

She’s being crucified before his eyes. Whatever life that might have been bubbling up inside her veins gone. Only the sluggish tar of self-hatred in its place.

If she could, Echidna would wrap herself up and tuck away from the world. How many times had she wished to just disappear? Cease to exist. The urge is strong right now and she can’t even look up at him from the guilt. Tears track softly down her cheeks, catch in the curve of her jaw, down the splotchy expanse of her throat.

The malice of his smile is what crushes her. Makes her shudder away from him, wipe the tears from her face in defiance. “I’m sorry for not being honest,” it’s all she can manage to say.

Her head is dizzy, with thoughts, feelings. Her chin quakes softly and her entire body hitches as she brings her fingers up to her mouth to whistle. The old dappled mare comes stomping through the underbrush and stands with her head against Echidna’s shoulder.

Echidna rests against the mare for a moment before she rummages through her saddlebags and then she comes over to him. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and places something into his hands gently. It’s an old necklace with a single white feather and an amethyst tethered to it. She’d made it such a long time ago for him.

“I did want to love those kids and yes, I was a coward. I was afraid and I don’t blame you anymore for what happened because I should have made my own choices back then. I should have been the mother I wanted to try to be and I should have been honest with you about how I felt during the entire thing. I can’t go back in time to fix my mistakes but I can work hard not to repeat them –”

“It makes me sad that I can’t make things better and it breaks whatever I have left inside me to see you hurt because of me. I’m not incapable of feelings, I feel too keenly now to deny that. What can I do? I’ll leave forever if you want, if it’ll make you happy again.”

She takes a deep breath and wonders how everything go so messed up. "If you want honesty, I hate myself."