*can we just both pretend to sleep; [ echidna ] IP: 24.59.129.5 Posted on September 25, 2017 at 04:24:54 AM by TARQUiN
'cause oh i'm bleeding out inside; oh i don't even mind
He still hasn't spoken to Aura about the dead guiding job, but it sticks within his mind none the less. He ponders it on and on, because he still isn't sure if it's something that would be for him. In many ways he thinks that he would be suited for it, but in others he thinks it would be too much for him to deal with. There were no real ways to be sure on any of this until he tried, and that might mean more commitment to something that he may be able to give. Or willing to give, at least. It may ask too much of him, or the rules be too complex or strict for him to be able to be confined within. Yet he did believe that he needed to give it a chance, see if there was anything to it. Something for another day, and he knows this. If he still was not sure on it, then today was obviously not the day for him to go and test how he felt on it. It just meant he had more time to think it all over. If he didn't try, though, he would never know.
Lately, Quinn had been trying to keep his emotions held in where he could, because no one really needed to see any of that. He was trying to find more control over himself in this way, because he had always been too impulsive, always been the hot headed creature that ran right into a challenge and a fight. He wondered if that was something he should stop doing, because to stop meant that maybe he could try and get his life together more. Which was a strange thought; to be something different than he usually was. Quinn did not know if he could do it for very long. He was almost certain that he couldn't, but wouldn't it be good to be able to keep his impulses and emotions reined in? To be able to control himself more in one way or another? It was a long shot, but he wasn't sure what more was left when it came to the rest of the world. And he could find some solace, he thinks, in at least being able to open up while around Echidna. Not that he needed to right now, but he liked having the option to do it.
Perhaps it wasn't that which had him moving along, going back to the general area that he had last seen Echidna at. Maybe he just wanted a friend, wanted to talk or just be around. There was always the option of another hunt if they couldn't find things to talk about, because they had always been so good at pushing everything else aside and follow their instincts to hunt together. Quinn had found hunting as a pair to feel good on a very primal level, even if cheetahs did not often feel that same kind of need. Some pieces just weren't the same as the normal animal side, but there was plenty about him that was, in or out of the cheetah shift. And there were also things that made no sense to him that were about himself. Quinn wanted to take the time to find out who he was now, though, but he knew that often enough, it was while around others that he could really connect with any of that. So he walked along, not really tracking Echidna or anything, not yet, but seeing if she might be in the area. If she was, she might find him.