During the day, sentries guard the sleeping. When the sky is dark and the moon dances with the stars, this is when the real fun begins. Munashii Gekko's forest is the only haunt where you can find your local misfits all in one place. A land of the forbidden and forgotten, a place that is riddled with dangers of a whole different kind. The wolves here have long misplaced their rightful minds, and now live like creatures damned to prowl and lurk through the night. It's easy to lose yourself here, sanity was sure to fade away and wither; there was never anything normal about this nefarious nest. The silent threats that whispered in the breeze were enough to deter even the largest of demons around. It was not strength nor wit that ensured your survival here with Eric, and challengers would be torn down with a morose lethality - there was nothing left in his cold blue eyes that promised mercy to anyone who dared to overstep their worth. So, would you give up the sun for the moon and stars? Do you have enough vigor to become a well regarded sentry? - Put on a game face to step up and pass the sepia king's test or turn and leave before he catches your scent. You never know who wants to snack on your delicious blood in this forest.
IP: 69.58.126.118
Posted on January 2, 2018 at 04:39:08 PM by Kahlan
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I had never thought that the secret between Kershov and I could be a child. After all, I have no recollection of the pregnancy, of my sides growing. Nor is there any memory of the pain of the birth - of life crawling from between my legs into this world anew. There’s no maternal instinct kicking in at the thought of having a pup pop nursing at my belly, grasping my tits in order to get a drink of milk to fill their little tummies. Or at least… There hadn’t been. But after he and I came together again, this time fully aware of our actions… It had changed everything. I knew that I would remember something… But this was not what I was expecting. And even now? I know that I have a child… A daughter. But I cannot remember anything about her. I don’t know what she looks like, what color her eyes are, or even what her name is. Instead of getting answers, I now only have more questions. After all, yes, I’ve been blacking in and out. But it’s usually for a few days, a week. But for me to not remember being pregnant, nor nursing a pup, nor even seeing her grow. How is that even possible? How is it that all of that was hidden from me? All I ever wanted was to be happy… Why would I have hidden a child from myself? Fugue states are meant to happen with a creatures under great stress, their mind fragile. And I suppose that holds true to me, after all of the stress and trauma I’ve suffered - not that I am looking for any pity mind you - but would not have a child brought me some relief from the world? All I ever wanted was to regain my family… And most of it was impossible. After all, they are all dead. But this pup could have meant a new beginning for me… And now I don’t even know how to find her. But… As always, life does not wish to be simple. My neck pulls my nape about so I can peer at my side - whether life is trying to make up for its error or whether this is a torment, just, in the weeks since I laid with Kershov, my sides have begun to grow. And the emotions that have come with it have been both lovely and unwanted. I feel so many contradictions swirling about me so I as to give me a headache. I want to find my daughter, she must be grown by now. And will not having these pups keep me from that? And yet at the same time, they could become the family that I need in order to heal. Yet… There is a dark, rancid rotting core in the pit of my heart that says I don’t want to heal. I have become accustomed to sulking, to wallowing in my self-pity. And most of the time, it is really true that I give zero fucks about anyone else. So now… As I stare at my immensely swollen abdomen I am conflicted once again. Do I risk it? Do I risk caring for these unborn bodies? What if they die - I will be heartbroken once again before even getting to know them. If they wish to have nothing to do with me? What if they’re stolen away, or become diseased and die a slow painful death? There’s so many things that life could do to me to wound me through them that I find it hard to open up to the thought of being an actual mother. I chuckle, but it is not made of joy. It is frustration… This is the third time that I’ve been with child. The first two pups, my first litter, were lost before they had a chance to live… And of course there’s the one that I don’t remember. And these? What sad story shall they weave upon the fates’ tapestry? And of course, because life has a sense of humor, I am pulled from my own thoughts by the sound of Kirastasia’s voice, screaming for another. My auditory‘s pin against my head and I shake my nape. My heart pulls me toward her but I don’t want to relive all of the pain that she brings with her. And yet that necrotic core of me pushes me with reluctant steps toward the boundary where I know I will find her. After all, if she has found another, I can use it as cannon fodder to hurt her the way that I have been hurt. A cruel smile comes over my lips and I regret it almost immediately, but know that I will do nothing to change it - for I have something more painful up my sleeve. Briefly I look at my side and envision the pups within… Those that are both of my blood and Kira‘s, indirectly of course. How fucked up is this relationship, where I am bearing the pups of my friend, my only friend, and yet those very pups will now be the half siblings of my lover. But to take it a step further, it was my lover‘s full brother who stole my first litter from me. It is some soap opera shit right here, and I wish only to continue the drama, do nothing to change it. For if I am already in the valley, I have no lower to go. I have nothing to lose that I have not already lost. But I was not expecting to see her belly swollen as well as mine. I freeze as I come upon her, her and the fallen brute I do not know. She is kissing him, urging him to awaken, but it is her belly I cannot take my eyes off of.… That is, until I see her limbs. They are glistening the light from the sky above like the lake‘s surface would at sunrise. Gone is her beautiful tufted fur a long her long bones, and in its place something… Smooth. It is familiar… And then I took a step closer, and then another. And only then does my vision differentiate the little ridges - it was not a single canvas upon her flesh now, but a collage of many iridescent pearl scales, each a unique color giving her the appearance of… fuck I don’t know what to compare her to now other than a snake. Perhaps that is appropriate given her willingness to hurt others to get what she wants. I scoff and shake my head. “You finally crossed over, have you? Moved to the side of man, forsaken your desire for women? And what is this, you are with pups? Tell me, Kira, what will you do when they need all of your attention, all of your time, and you are left with nothing for yourself?” I will not show nor admit that seeing her pregnant elicits a varying array of emotions for me. I am jealous of the brute in front of her, the supposed father. I am angry, angry that she would do something such as this to hurt me. But I am also scared for her - pregnancies do not often run the path that was planned… And yet I don’t feel that same fear for myself. I wonder why… But I push all that down in order to spit venom at her, words I immediately regret but cannot stop. “Well you’re not the only one - I carry pups as well, these ones to replace the ones that your brother stole from me. But don’t worry, they will stay within your family, for they will be your blood. Do you miss your brother, Kirastasia? There’s no need now, for after all, you’re about to have some new ones…” I smirk at her in silence, but slowly, my face falls. With a frown, I brace against the pain in my abdomen as waves push up on the uterus, not waves know for I know that they are medically contractions. I wince, and take a step back from her. I want to run, so that she could not see me in pain, not see me weak and vulnerable. But of course the pups have a different idea, and they send me to my knees first, and then onto my side. I do as I know I should, and I begin to push. The breath is choked out of me, and I feel lightheaded, and I see before me Channing‘s birth. Moth‘s last litter. Always have I been the nurse, but never the mother. But all of that is about to change. I grit my teeth - she will not hear me scream, for I will not allow myself to do so. I have no wind in my lungs to make any noise anyway… And I strain against myself, until at long last I can feel some relief, a sudden wet sensation with gentle pressure as a puppy is expelled from me. I move partially by instinct, for a mother wolf knows to clean off her pups… But there was more than that, and my heart swells even as tears well in my eyes. I grasp this first one, clean him off, starting at his mouth so that he can breathe without choking on the remnants of his sack. He cries out, and I smile and quickly put him at my teat, licking at his rump to stimulate him to nurse so that his cries are silenced. But the contractions return, and I am pushing out another, and this one smaller than the first and slips out without a problem. I repeat my gestures as I had with the first, and place him at my teat next to his brother… It was only now that I could take another breath, and the air is warm and soothing. I nearly collapsed into unconsciousness, but not before looking up Kirastasia. “Well would you look at that? Looks like you have to new brothers.” The sweet release of sleep is coming over me now, and I curl my body so slightly so that I can encircle the pups, hiding them from view… But then I place my head upon my front paws and fall asleep, getting some much-needed rest. And though my body will be rested, my dreams will give me no sanctuary… No, I will be running from her eyes, her rainbow limbs… Hiding from her pups, drowning in pain. |
Replies:
- h e a r t . t h r o b [birthing] - By k i r a s t a s i a January 4, 2018 at 03:11:28 PM
among the stars - By k a u k a b January 5, 2018 at 05:07:55 PM
Even though I am shrouded in darkness… - By Drizzt January 5, 2018 at 04:57:50 PM
All The Small Things - By Kenryk January 7, 2018 at 04:15:18 PM
If by my Life or Death - By Crusoe January 8, 2018 at 01:46:17 AM
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