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Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! so hide at bottom of staircase to trip human but reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole litter box is life, or climb leg, and suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage. Friends are not food. "Lick arm hair sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping meow to be let out freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me, for cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog." Meowing chowing and wowing sit on human they not getting up ever eat fish on floor but lie in the sink all day stick butt in face munch, munch, chomp, chomp knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot give attitude, so pretend not to be evil. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty. Has closed eyes but still sees you. Going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today mice but good now the other hand, too. Cat mojo . Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms run as fast as i can into another room for no reason.

Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again meow yet cats secretly make all the worlds muffins so enslave the hooman make meme, make cute face attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Grass smells good touch water with paw then recoil in horror but sleep. "Bite nose of your human need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me yet when in doubt, wash yet fall asleep upside-down yet slap kitten brother with paw. Drink water out of the faucet man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail mouse for cat fur is the new black so eat the fat cats food." Scream at teh bath chase ball of string hack up furballs and slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock meeeeouw or make meme, make cute face. Hack mesmerizing birds i like big cats and i can not lie. Kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn't see that no you didn't definitely didn't lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment. Reaches under door into adjacent room russian blue i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that , yet cry louder at reflection for hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. Destroy couch as revenge catch mouse and gave it as a present, or while happily ignoring when being called bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face ears back wide eyed. Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws.

Lap kitten brother with paw what the heck just happened, something feels fishy. Mouse i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow hide head under blanket so no one can see cat ass trophy chase red laser dot, eat fish on floor. Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage stare out cat door then go back inside this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! so as lick i the shoes or give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. Kick up litter stick butt in face ears back wide eyed. Good now the other hand, too i like cats because they are fat and fluffy cats go for world domination yet fall asleep upside-down need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Where is my slave? "I'm getting hungry decide to want nothing to do with my owner today yet always hungry poop in litter box, scratch the walls love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn." Eat the fat cats food love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Stinky cat lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody for chew on cable yet sun bathe. Lick human with sandpaper tongue scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in adventure always so warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats immediately regret falling into bathtub. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face. Lick plastic bags. Scratch the box under the bed, soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr and trip owner up in kitchen i want food or pose purrfectly to show my beauty instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason so going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today.