"You take the Breath right out of me
And left a hole where my heart should be..."
I watch as she smiles, forced, or real? I could never tell with people. It was odd. It was as though I was constantly questioning a smile these days. I gave so many meaningful ones of my own that is had become difficult to recognise if someone else meant it as much as I did. I wasn't saying she was lying with her face, I merely meant that I was cautious of gestures at the moment. A strange feeling had washed over me in the past couple of days. A strange primal feeling of caution. Whether it was what was in me or whether it was something else I didn't know anymore. With the way things were in Shaman at the moment, anything could happen at any time. Question was was that it was only a matter of time before it actually did. I mean, god, if every smile meant what it was supposed to, I guess the world would be a much happier place. If not, at least an easier one to live in.
I look down at my lighter which she is referring to. I had had this for as long as I could actually remember. It had a long scratch down one side which I couldn't remember what from, but I'd awoken with it in Shaman and could never remember how it got there. I couldn't remember anything before I got here. It was as though my life before a few months ago was nothing more than a dream. Fuzzy, unco-ordinated. Nevermind though, I was rather enjoying my life here how it was. Well, apart from this current feeling I couldn't shake, everything was fine. You didn't need a memory to remember how good life feels at the present time. I smile, meaningfully, as she sits and says she was going to take a swim. I couldn't actually swim which to be fair, was one of the worst things that I could have wrong with me, present day happenings taken into consideration.
"I can't actually swim or I would have joined you."
I laughed softly, sitting beside her. We both smoked in silence for a little while before she piped up the conversation again. I quite liked the way she was. She was casual, carefree, I wanted to have sex with her. Wait, that wasn't right. That wasn't what I'd been thinking at all. I frowned slightly and regained my thoughts. What the hell was going on. What I had meant to think was that I wanted to spend some quality time with her. Hold on, that wasn't right either. I paused in my thoughts. Never would I normally have thought this way about a woman I didn't know, I wasn't that sort of guy, but something inside me raged and wanted to stroll around, primal, feral. It wasn't the wolf in me. No, this was something different. I carried on smoking in silence, considering her quietly before answering her question.
"I'm not that sure to be honest. Few months really, before that, can't remember a damn thing. How about you?"
And then I snapped my mouth shut before I could say another word. Something wasn't right and I couldn't place my finger on what it was. I hoped it would soon though, cause right now, Charlotte was beginning to look gorgeous...tempting...tasty.
"You've got to fight just to make it through
Cause I will be the death of You."
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