Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Please… Dances, I… Come with me, please.
Lost in grief, Dances did not know what to do. But Oswin was here, and he wasn’t alone. She asked something of him, and as they stood on the sandy shore together, water pulling at his legs, Dances With Wolves stared blindly out over the ocean – looking but not seeing. When Oswin went into the water, he only hesitated a moment before following. It was all too much, and he didn’t have the strength in him to return to the Bay, to face Sai’s wrath, the grief of Maziel and Zevulun, least of all Mariael’s own pain, and the shame he’d feel, prickling beneath his skin, after his hasty departure.
Oswin led, and Dances followed without question, only beginning to wonder where she was taking him (and why when the Islands in the sea were already a good hour or so behind. Onwards, they travelled, and for once Dances was grateful for the silence. At some point, he shook himself out of his misery, and looked, really looked at the mare he was following. It occurred to him then, that she might’ve been making this long journey frequently, and his heart throbbed into life, flooding with concern for her. “Oswin, wait--” The words left his lips just as the mare came to a halt, and turned to him. A myriad of questions marched up his throat and lined up on his tongue.
She answered all of them with two words. Nephilim’s alive. Alive! But how? He felt more questions form ranks, but he clenched his jaw and held them in. As the mare explained, Dances With Wolves felt his blood run cold, but still that hope kept burning bright. He pranced with nervous energy, but stilled a few moments later. The bay and white male closed the distance between himself and Oswin, nudging tenderly at her cheek. There were no words for the gratitude he felt towards her, and he couldn’t even begin to think of all that she had been through for her brother. And he didn’t doubt her, not one bit, but he struggled with what she had told him. The stallion that was waiting close-by, completely unaware of their presence, sounded nothing like the Nephilim he knew.
Something held him in place, and he took a few moments to gather himself. The world was quiet, and though it seemed at peace, Dances felt that this would be another defining moment for him, just like that trip to the Prairie, all those years ago. Eyes closed, and he drew deep and steadying breaths. He did not know what had happened – that was not for Oswin to tell him. Nor did he know what would happen, but he knew what he desired, and though it frightened him (this wild heart that pounded in his chest, feeling too much, always feeling too much) like it always did, he did not turn his back. Not this time.
One last glance was sent Oswin’s way, and then he continued, twisting an ear to see if she followed at a distance (or not at all). If Nephilim reacted as Oswin claimed he would, Dances would defend her, for he felt that she did not deserve the anger of anyone. He could hardly hear for the beating of his heart, and moved slowly, cautiously, not knowing what he would find. And then he saw the pale figure, alone in the shadows beneath the trees, and he stumbled, chest heaving with too many emotions to name.
“It’s you,” Dances breathed, when he came to a stop just a short distance away. “I-It’s really you.” His body trembled, and he longed to leap forwards and throw his neck across his brother’s so that he would feel the beating of the other stallion’s heart against his chest and know that this wasn’t just a beautiful dream. But, he held his ground, for Oswin had warned him, and Dances had seen, he’d seen the damage that the wolves had done to his brother, and just thinking about the pain and the suffering made the breath catch in his throat, brought tears to his eyes.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” Dances managed to say, but only just. He couldn’t hold back any longer, and approached slowly at a measured pace, his body trembling at the effort to hold back. “I thought I lost you, Nephilim. But I have not.” At this point, he reached out, yearning to touch the muzzle of the one he felt he owed so much to. “It’s you,” he murmured again, overcome by emotion. “My brother.” There was a feeling that he couldn’t quite explain, but Dances felt that no matter what happened, everything would be okay.
The journey to this place had changed him, so that Dances With Wolves was no longer the same horse that had fled from the Bay, running from his weakness and his fears and his pain. Neither of the stallions were who they had once been. The changes in the blue-eyed paint however, were largely invisible – though any who knew him well would see them at once upon a glance. It was something about the way he held his head, something in the way he moved. He was no longer at war within himself. His heart wanted what it wanted, and he wasn’t going to run. No more. No more.
He stood in silence beside his brother, watching him, and the world around them, willing to listen if Nephilim wanted to talk, ready to tell Nephilim about how things were going in the Bay, about his daughters and son. The journey here had exhausted him in all ways, but his body rejected the idea of succumbing to sleep. The heart inside him that had been broken was slowly but surely being pieced together. A bone-deep happiness had entered him, and Dances With Wolves revelled in the feeling. The only thing that could make him happier in this moment was returning to the Bay, and taking his brother with him, so that their splintered family could be together again, and begin to heal.
Once the thought had entered his mind, it spread to his bloodstream, so that his weary body burned with the desire to move, following the pull his heart always felt towards Home. He turned to his brother, looking beyond the physical damage, and when he spoke, it wasn’t to the horse that stood beside him, it was to the Nephilim he had fought for, once, the stallion he had grown to love as his brother. “You have been here far too long, Nephilim. Come, we are going home.”
DANCES WITH WOLVES
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home |