every day it feels like I’m holding back an ocean
“Ok, almost perfect,” comes the baritone voice of her dark father. Elena stretches up on her hooves as she carries a stone in her little mouth, delicately placing it on top of the other stones that sit precariously balancing all on one another. There are little piles every where in the place they stand on the edges of the lake. They look as if they were little mountains. “Now, we need to dig a little hole to let the water in,” her father say and Elena proceeds to do just that, those tiny, baby hooves finding purchase in the ground to dig the dirt away until it is deep enough that the water flowing from the lake is able to slip through and fill the tiny moat the father and daughter had created. “There,” he says and they step back to admire their work. “We did it, Elena, we made Paraiso,” he says then with a breath. “Do you think Mama will like it, Daddy?” She asks then, peering baby blues up at him. “She will love it,” he reassures her before lowering his dark nose to the ground besides the little lake they made along the edges of their mountain tops. “And right there, that is where your mother and I met,” he says and Elena holds her breath as eyes go wide with awe. She can only imagine, what it must be like and she can almost picture the place, if she just tries hard enough.
Ice blue eyes (so much like her mother’s own baby blues) scan carefully, her shoulders are square and unforgiving. She has finally regained some strength after the run and the swim that had pushed her here in the first place. Now, she knew she had to stay vigilant, she didn't want anyone to get the better of her, to take advantage of her. Elena had already met one stallion, but this land, she wanted to see what it had to offer her. Who else held their positions, what other lands hid in the waters.
Windskeep. Paraiso. Her homes beat words into her heart. Lilli. Valerio. Marcelo. Ori. She misses them so much. The golden mare shakes her head, as if she could shake the very thoughts that remain rooted in her brain with iron clad grips. But their faces assault her and she wants nothing more for them to go away. “Stop, stop,” she says as if it would do any good. She strikes out with a front leg at what, invisible thoughts that plague her with guilt? No, she left to save them, no one else would die on her account. She wouldn't allow it to happen.
So she has come here, the falls, to breathe, to rest those aching muscles that have not stopped moving since she arrived here. That is when she hears the sound of trickling water, and those ears find themselves swiveling forwards amongst that mane of cumulus. A waterfall? She moves eagerly, searching for any sense of familiarity, even if there was nothing of the sort in this strange land. When glacial blues see what is out before here though, her heart only falters, it is small, much too small. Head lowers slightly as she whispers to herself. “I miss home,” she says, and she wants to cry, but the tears, they refuse to come, as if the gods simply are ignoring any of her wishes, content to watch her struggle.
* e l e n a
in the dark I’ll pray for the return of the light
the sunflower daughter of benjamin and beylani
no home. mother of none. |