Even in relaxed situations like these, where smiles come easily and there is no fear permeating the air, it’s natural for their thoughts to turn to the trauma that had been inflicted on the Forest a few months prior. Scars do not disappear overnight. Yet even still, the reminder of it is painful.
Evren’s expression turns solemn, and her gaze drops to the ground for a time, as Persephone touches on the fears that Evren is all too-familiar with. Even now, she worries: she worries about her son and how he fares, wherever he is; she worries about her sister, and whether Tarek’s attempts to locate her will be successful or not; and she worries about every other member of the herd, both past and present. She can only hope that the ones that are gone have found some refuge, and are simply biding their time in returning.
Then Persephone says something that draws Evren’s gaze back toward her: Or that we might lose each other.
Evren feels a lurch in her stomach that isn’t from the foal. She studies Persephone’s face, and the way the half-light falls across its contours. A nervous smile spasms across her lips. “Yes, that too,” she murmurs.
She shifts her weight to rest one aching knee, her mind returning to that night where she had watched Persephone clashing in the moonlight against a tide of invaders. In the moment she had felt only fear and rage, but now, thinking back, her heart swells with pride. “I would gladly fight by your side all over again if it meant protecting this herd and our daughters. And you,” she says, with a brief smile.
“Speaking of our daughters, though… there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for… well, a while, actually.” She parts her lips, then closes them as she searches for the words. “You’ve become like family to me, Sephy. I love that our daughters are siblings. But from the day I conceived Arkana, I’ve felt this… incredible guilt, and for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why.”
Her gaze falls to the ground, where it lingers on her hooves. “Part of it was my argument with Shamwari. I was disgusted that I had allowed myself to get knocked up by him when he had infuriated and hurt me in such a way. But once that went away, and we made amends… the guilt still hung around. I felt as if I’d betrayed you somehow. It made no sense to me. You were pregnant with Sabran at that point, but… that was different. You conceived Sabran out of a need for an heir, while I conceived Arkana out of nothing but lust. And it’s more or less the same story with our current… situation. And now I think I know why.”
Here Evren pauses, and for a few moments there’s nothing but the gentle sound of crickets and the distant crash of the ocean. Her heart is hammering in her chest to the point where she’s lightheaded, but she can’t stop now. It’s time.
“I feel like I owe you some kind of… fidelity. And it’s not just because of everything you’ve done for me and my family. I love my children, and I don’t regret bringing them into the world, but… I want to be loyal to you, Sephy. I… care about you, probably in more ways than you realize.”
Her face hot, her eyes shining with unshed tears, Evren waits for Persy’s response with bated breath.
11; mutt; bay tobiano; 15.3hh |
