I don't really like myself without you
Even after all this time…after everything that has transpired between them…he still wants her.
He can feel his body caving into her scent. For him, Xiomara looks the same. Her body screams that of a warrioress and a Queen. She was the same as he remembers her save a few extra scars that line her body. Blue eyes trace over every curve, every blemish with a hunger hard to satisfy. He wasn’t even sure taking her now would bring the satisfaction he had always craved. The boyish dreams had turned into a man’s nightmare. He had not realized back then how insane she was. The young Ironclad had not only idolized her but sought her as his own Queen. After her lies he witnessed only her wrath and her complete abandonment of her entire herd. Did she not care for anything? He thinks about questions like this when he thinks of Xiomara which has been less and less lately.
Odd she would show up at the time his life was in shambles. A time he had not been thinking of her at all. The anger the fuels him is intense, but he does not even think of attacking her. The more he screams, the more he could feel the anger leaving his body. Ironclad suddenly feels drained of energy as he watches her with heavy eyes. Her words make no sense. Why not here? He didn’t understand. She has been known to say odd things in the past, but her second set of words was even worse. Take what back? He instantly thinks of his decision to challenge for her body. He had had terrible about it after the fight. In that moment of his defeat he had wanted to take it back, but now…
Xiomara has asked him to be stronger. He still was not any stronger than that day he challenged her. He knew this to be true by his failure against Valka. At the same time, he has defeated his King, but he could not win the prize. He could barely hold on to anything he wanted anymore. ”Do you?” He asks. They may not be on the same page, but he was curious to know what regrets she held for him. Not that she would tell him out loud. He begins to think what his life might had been like if Xiomara had not played such a big role in his childhood. If his passion had not been swayed by her then Kvothe might have never had Pike. Kvothe might have been his focus or maybe he would have put more care into Medusa.