Falls

There was a low chuckle from his brother, and then silence for a while. It was not a terribly uncomfortable silence, surprisingly. They meandered through the woods, through Damascus’s home, or… maybe not home. Oberyn got the feeling his brother didn’t feel at home here, though he had no evidence to confirm his suspicion. A twin’s instincts, perhaps; or maybe he was just projecting.

It seemed he was not projecting, after all. Damascus spoke of his territory, calling it desolate, and Oberyn was vividly reminded of the loneliness of his own travels. He could see that this was a similar kind of lonely. As he often had when the brothers were young colts, the dappled stallion felt as though he were peering into a mirror as Damascus let him in on his daily life. There differences, of course. But the overall feeling was the same.

Both brothers were hiding from their past.

There was another pause. Oberyn had let Damascus spill his words, listening in a way that he felt pulled into the peaceful world his brother had adapted to, and experienced the weight of isolation as Damascus had. Oberyn sighed. It was his turn to spill.

“It is intriguing,” he agreed. “I’ve been living that life for what feels like… years, now. I’ve seen fascinating things. But it’s desolate too, or it was for me. Nobody wants to come close, because you’re always moving.” He rolled his shoulders in a shrug. He just felt so… tired. He had been carrying this weight for… he didn’t even know how long. He could feel it dislodging from him, balancing precariously on his back, no longer cinched so tightly around him that he could not breathe. Like any move he made might send it tumbling away.

And in a way, he did not want that weight to leave. He felt as though it had been there for so long — he had carried it alone for so long — that there was no Oberyn beneath it anymore. If he let it go, what would be left? Would there be anything left?

And what if he did not let it go?

“There are other islands in this chain, yes?” he asked suddenly, not sure exactly what point he was trying to make, or plan he was scheming, but feeling suddenly determined not to become trapped in this endless cycle again of fighting with himself for happiness and relief. He may never lose the baggage of the past, or if he did, he may find that he had lost himself long ago. But anything, anything was better than just standing here and letting himself be crushed.

Especially… especially if he knew his brother was being crushed, too.

“Maybe we could go see them,” he said, glancing at Damascus with a guarded expression, unsure of what reaction he expected from his twin. “We could go South. Maybe there is an island with a little more life in it, down where it’s warm.”

Maybe this was just another way Oberyn was running away, but if Damascus ran away with him, well… it was better, he thought. Maybe a little less lonely.