| Azizi blood is heavier than water |
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Azizi accepts Rehoboam’s reply with a stiff nod, conflicted about how the clarification made him feel. After all Shenzi had done, he felt it was his right to not want her in his life, but for her to not have returned to Nyimara’s side, as she had been trying to do for so long… As far as Azizi was aware, Shenzi had no-one else to turn to, no-one left from before. And thinking of her, out there, alone… It made him feel guilty. “You know she went to the mountain, after that pair of Peak mares came for her,” Azizi said, needing to say something in the vain hope it would help him figure things out. What Rehoboam might not know, however, was that Shenzi had returned, very briefly. Azizi had seen her off, and he was grateful that the stallion beside him hadn’t been there. He’d become someone else - just for a moment. The memories of the hurt and the pain had sharpened into hot, pointed anger, and Azizi had used it to drive his mother away. So that he wouldn’t get hurt again. So that Shenzi wouldn’t hurt Reh, or one of the others. They still weren’t even, by any means. Shenzi still had both her ears. But it was Azizi who’d tasted blood that time, left his own mark. Whenever Shenzi caught sight of her reflection on the still surface of a body of water, she’d see it, and remember. Azizi is almost grateful for the change in topic, because it means he is spared from admitting what he’d done (not that he thought Rehoboam would blame him, by any means). Almost. Too late he realises that in sharing this truth, it might only make things harder and worse for Rehoboam. So it is with hastily crafted nonchalance that he explains further, hoping to lessen Rehoboam’s worry and wrath. “There was a pale stallion, he put himself between Nyimara and me. And after Frey showed up, with the two of them against her, she slunk off pretty quick.” Its not surprising that silence stretches between them again, but this time, it is the memory of Nyimara closing in on him through the gloom of the Lagoon that sours Azizi’s mood. He tries to think if the mare had ever spied the two of them together, or whether his mother would sink so low as to paint a target on Rehoboam’s back. He almost thinks to ask Rehoboam if he knows why Nyimara had been so determined to have him that she’d fight for him and keep him trapped in the Dunes, but then he decides against it, because he doesn’t want to say her name, and the why doesn’t really matter now. Rehoboam is Dune-bound, and there is no undoing what’s been done. All they can do is look to the future and be ready. There must be a way out, and Azizi has just started pondering possibilities when they resume conversation. Good, Rehoboam murmurs, and in his chest, Azizi feels his heart swell with pride, because maybe, finally, he’s done something right. And then he feels Reh’s lips brush, featherlight, against his forehead, where the stripe of white that runs down his muzzle ends. Suddenly, his throat is tight and he struggles to catch his breath, and he wants to say something, anything, but even if he finds the words, he wouldn’t be able to get them out anyway. They move off together, to the place where Rehoboam thinks Nyimara will be less likely to happen upon them, and Azizi is grateful for the distraction, and the way he needs to focus on his footing as they weave their way through the dune valleys, because it gives him a chance to steady himself again. (No one had ever comforted him that way before, not even his mother, and just thinking about it, at the way Rehoboam did it so naturally, it makes his eyes prickle with the threat of tears, and his heart aches with something other than sadness.) He tries so hard not to let Rehoboam see how disappointed he is when, moments later, Rehoboam explains why they can’t leave. A small, sad smile ghosts across his dark lips. “It’s okay.” The words are but a whisper upon his breath. Azizi draws in a lungful of dry air, and though it catches in his throat, it is enough to helps resolve settle into his bones. “We’ll just have to wait ‘til we can steal them away too, then.” If Reh has family here, then the last thing Azizi wants is to make Rehoboam leave them behind. Azizi settles, gold-brown eyes drifting across the stone of the Badlands. And he knows this tiny moment of peace won’t last long, so he shifts just the tiniest amount, so that his shoulder touches Rehoboam’s, and promises himself that he will hold fast to this moment, and draw strength from it during the trails that no doubt lay before them. Then Rehoboam speaks again, and the moment is gone, because Azizi has to tell him. Heart sinking heavily in his chest, Azizi sucks in a sharp breath and hesitates a moment, before turning to look at the tobiano, nervously meeting the expectant brown eyes. “Reh, she isn’t in the Lagoon anymore.” Perhaps there was some comfort in that, but the truth was, no matter where they were, being apart from the ones that mattered hurt all the same. Especially when they were caught in the shadow of an enemy you knew, as Rehoboam was. But the unknown was just as frightening, and the place where Celestine had gone was full of unknowns. “A stranger came, from Paradise, and challenged the Lagoon. The pale stallion - the one who saved me from Nyimara, he fought to keep her, but he couldn’t. The big grey, he took her away.” Azizi’s tone turns wistful toward the end, and he finds himself again fighting feelings of guilt. The stallion who’d coveted Rehoboam’s companion had been tall and far more heavily built than Azizi, and the young male knows he’d have likely fared even worse than the cream-coated Bachelor. But it rankles, that he’d gotten there too late to even try, or to sneak in close and whisper a hurried message to her. He feels like, in failing to do this, he has let down Rehoboam anew. And as he drops his head, mulling over things in disguised misery, Azizi finds a way that he might be able to make it up to the only role model he’d ever known. “I know you can’t leave right now, but I can. I could go find her, and see if she’s safe. I could tell her… I could tell her that you’ll come for her as soon as you're able.” Azizi raises his head and looks to Rehoboam, earnest and determined, but he will not go if Rehoboam asks him not to. And he makes a promise. “I’ll come right back to you.” |