She had to know. One way or another, she had to force the truth out of Fell or the what-if's would drive her insane.

Kohelet knew she should have pushed him when she first arrived home; that waiting to question him was only lending truth to Rafe's claim that she was being willfully blind to her mate's nature, but she couldn't bring herself to spoil those first few hours, which turned into days, which had stretched into months. Each second since her arrival had allowed her to continue avoiding the situation altogether, but she knew she couldn't push it off any longer.

Autumn lingered on the horizon, and she knew herself well enough to know that she would likely cave to his touch as she had every season prior. She loved him too much, loved being a mother too much to have any sort of resolve in the matter.

But if what Rafe said was true?

She couldn't bear to think about what would follow after, and so she focused only on the asking. On the singular next step. If she could just do that, then she wouldn't have lied to Rafe. She didn't know why it mattered - whether she lied to their enemy or not - but it did in some way. It mattered because she didn't think of herself as a liar.

Lifting her dark head, she called out for her chosen companion, her eyes raking the greenery for any sign of her heart's shadow. He had done nothing since she had arrived to make her question his motives, but that didn't mean he wasn't doing things away from her side. Even the new mare he had brought in was not so much new as returned. There had been a moment - when he'd returned smelling of her bastard, nosy sister - that Kohelet had nearly eviscerated him. Between the pregnancy hormones and the massive amount of jealousy she felt toward Parvati it had taken every ounce of her self-control not to march to the Inlet and shred her half-sister apart.

She had a number of things she needed to ask him, this time without the emotionally charged atmosphere of a reunion.