Amir
”There is no victory with no loss.”
It is painful! It is so painful to live like this. Alone in the world. And I cannot take it anymore. Devil means so much to me, he had done everything for me, he had been there for me and I disappointed him. If I could show him how I still suffer! But would it even matter for him? Would it even mean anything to him at all?
He didn't have to, but he let me explain to him. I am so thankful he let me. But when I finish, he tells me what I should have done, with a disappointed good shake of his head. I listen to his words, hurting me even more. For I know he is right. I should have done so much more for him. My eyes close as he tells me how I let him down. A soft whimper escapes my muzzle. My eyes, flooded with concern, open again. No! It is not lost! He gave up on me! A dagger in my heart...
- I know how I disappointed you! I know! - I tell him, as he finishes. My head lowers again - And it hurts... It hurts so deep in me...
I stopped... Asking myself if it would even matter for him. My head lowers again. For a few seconds, nothing is heard between us. But then, he speaks again. He remembers my true name. The one I've been dishonored with. He asks me what does it even mean, truly curious about it. I would have remembered him to call me such, if he didn't.
- It means many things. Many, just think it is a punishment. But it is not. When a warrior has completed his training, in our lands, he makes an oath in front of the whole pack. It is called The Warrior's Claim. Every pup is taught the words... For our name is our soul. When his name is taken, it is the most painful thing for all of us. It means to take his soul. At first, I thought it was some kind of silly punishment, but it is far more. It is a test... And a last act of hope... When you take a warrior's name, he could just deny it and keep his name... He could introduce himself with his true name to anyone, but... A true warrior is commited to act seflessly for the benefit of his pack. If a wolf values his own name and soul above his pack, then he doesn't deserve to be a warrior. But when a dishonored wolf accepts his name to be taken, he shows that he still cares, that he wants to try again and prove that he loves his pack. That he is still loyal to his alpha.
My gaze met his and I paused.
- Devil, please... I ask you... One more chance. To show you that I care. To prove that you didn't waste your time... let me fight for you. That's all I ask. One more chance.
I waited, with a heart full of hope. Devil means a lot to me and I just wanted to show him.
7 years old | Promised to Bluejay
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