IP: 12.231.36.2
Posted on March 21, 2013 at 05:15:29 AM by Enigma
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It's time to get back in the game. I woke up today determined to make a life for Cobryn and I, no matter what life it could be. I know that he's not over Jaidah and I would never ask him to rush it. It broke something in him when she ran off and I've been trying to pick up the pieces ever since. It makes me hate her but I know I couldn't attack her if I saw her for fear of hurting Cobryn. He still cares about her and that will never change. His heart is too pure to give it up. When he loves someone, he gives it all and he did love Jaidah, I have no doubt in that. He loved the way she made him feel, the things she could to him internally and while it makes my guts twist just to remember the way I saw them together so long ago, I push those thoughts back and think of our present and future now. He's a shell of a wolf, a dried up hull of what he used to be but I still have faith that he can be the Cobryn I fell for again. I see it in flashes when he looks at me sometimes, those times when he's not sucked away from me to daze into space for hours at a time, his mind miles away from the here and now. Now Covet has roamed away and it didn't help him any. He eats, sleeps, and dazes mostly. I feel blessed every time he says a word to me because his words are so few now a days. Some wolves might have given this up a long time ago but not me. I would never give up on him and I never will. I stood by his side even while Jaidah laid up against him and nuzzled deep into his fur, even while her unspoken resentment for me filtered into the air, making it hard to breathe. I know she thinks I took him away from her and I guess in a way I did. If I'd never told I return the feelings for him then maybe they'd still be happy together, with more kids of their own and a bright future ahead. I could sit here and drown myself in guilt over it but I'm a tundra wolf and I believe in no regrets. I fell for Cobryn the first time I met him. I could see the raw power he kept hidden so well beneath his controlled exterior. I could also see the easy compassion in his eyes when he looked at everyone at that first pack meeting. He was something to behold and I was dazzled by it. Needless to say, I don't get dazzled that easily. There was something about him that drew me in and even now in this shadow of his former self, still, something calls to me. He's not my imprint and he probably never will be. For all I know, bringing him somewhere new could trigger an imprint and then he could be lost to me forever. I know a relationship like that is what would make him whole, a relationship that's easy, that's as natural as breathing. He's custom made for someone out there just as I am. He could make someone happy just by waking every morning. He does that for me now but he could love someone in the blink of an eye. It's painful to imagine but I still remember that easy dependence I felt for Edge the first time I met him. He dragged me from the depths of depression with that trustworthy smile but then he disappeared and Cobryn saved me. I don't think I ever want to find an imprint again but I know that's not my decision to make. Fate probably has other plans in mind. I'm sure it has plans for Cobryn too. I walk slowly to the borders of Glorall, checking to make sure Cobryn's still with me. I kept my pace slow, knowing he doesn't like me to be too far out of sight. He's grown dependent on me throughout this ordeal. Not that I mind, but I do miss his old confidence, his easy smile. I've hunted for him and kept up one way conversations with him. After a while, I stopped pausing for a response. He's a good listener. Every day I tell him about scents I came across, old acquaintances we thought lost to the world, delicious prey moving back into the area. Every day his only reply is silence and endless daydreaming. I've memorized his features a hundred times over by now, so much have I stared into those empty eyes, hoping to see them bright and full of life once more. I stop once I've reached the invisible line, settling myself in to wait. I don't want to sit. I'm too restless so instead I shift my weight and wait for Cobryn to come up beside me. For better or worse, I'm here with him. I haven't breached the subject of what we are now, I guess I'm too scared to know. I would stay his friend forever if it meant I got to see him as much as possible, breathe in his intoxicating cologne and spend all the time in the world with him, just be close to him. |
Replies:
- i'm alive and now i'm burning - By COBRYN March 21, 2013 at 10:12:36 AM
Crystal Hearted Wolf - By Sulan March 21, 2013 at 08:20:48 PM
Watch Me Come Undone - By Enigma March 24, 2013 at 02:38:46 AM
i'm alive and now i'm burning - By COBRYN March 25, 2013 at 07:41:08 PM
Crystal Hearted Wolf - By Sulan March 26, 2013 at 02:26:04 AM
Watch Me Come Undone - By Enigma March 26, 2013 at 05:00:45 PM
i'm alive and now i'm burning - By COBRYN March 28, 2013 at 04:35:44 PM
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