to whom it may concern,

i came to sit nervously at the edge of the gathering, out of sight from both my brother, sciathan, and also from my mother. i was angry with her, but not for becoming an alpha. for endangering herself. how dare she risk her life?! it was… infuriating. but anger was such a nasty feeling; it was suffocating to me because it ground against my natural nature. and so, i attempted to let the anger go, because it was a reaction to my panic for her safety. the end result of all my frustration was that i was simply relieved that my mother, snowshoe, was alive.

of course, i was not so naive anymore that just because she was alive, that she was safe. when i looked around me… i didn’t see a world of butterflies or sunshine anymore. i saw a world of murky grays and browns. some, i suppose, like my brothers and mother, were pockets of utopia. but the world, or at least moladion, was struggling to find any sort of peace. why? i was coming to believe it was because of wolves like purge, azrael, tobias, demons, and in general, the primitive alpha figure that moladion suffered so much violence.

aa i gazed at the profile of the female’s face, threatening my mother, my heart shrunk in sadness. i lowered my eyes and flattened my ears to the side. i hated pack life. it was all wolves struggling to be the one in control. which was a damn futile effort anyways. no one ever had complete control - especially of another being. even in this imprinting, whether is was a blessing or a curse, i heard so much about didn’t completely sap away an individual’s will. i suppose, i was coming to think of imprinting as a curse. not because some couldn’t find totally happiness with it, but rather, because for those who did imprint on a fretful, unreliable wolf, suffered; they couldn’t even blame the wolf causing their problems.

i stood and cast a glance at niviaq, who was attempting to quell the fighting before it began. she was the wolf, though i hadn’t officially met her, who inspired me to seek a future as a healer. then, i stepped forwards and cast a long stare at skully. pitty, i guess, was the emotion in my heart for her. i was sorry the pack hadn’t become what she expected it to be and i was sorry she felt the need to be aggressive towards my mother.

then i turned my eyes to my mother. they were challenging eyes. of course i would support her in her new position, but i wanted her to do better than any before her. i didn’t want to live in a pack run by traditional methods. i didn’t want her to be an alpha. i wanted her to be a leader - a wolf who inspired others. i wasn’t sure how i expected her to find this path, for my mind was young and still learning the complications of politics. and voiceless, i suppose i couldn’t convey my desire in its completion nor even explore the vocabulary necessary to eventually achieve a coherent, definite opinion of the kind of pack i wished i live in, if any at all. instead, looked away from spirane’s new leader, and i sat next to my brother, sciathan. in this silent fashion, i showed the side that i would support.

sincerely,
apollinari "nari" snow-melt

. 0 yrs .. 31 in .. 112 lbs .. no imprint .. no mate .. no pups .