fourteen - no heart - Heyel's soul - Spirane
sister of warlow, dam of none
this is her in blackouts

He had said he would stay!

There is a burst of elation in Natu at this thought and it is in endless supply at the moment. Sven had looked at his real mother, had spoken with her, and he had decided to stay with Natu. After all this time, after all the heartache kept between the two of them in their separate shells and all the guilt she had carried, he had still chosen not to leave her in favor of a family that had missed him these long two years. She could help but feel incredibly happy. It was such a blessing to her, a balm to her soul, and even if Sven didn't do it out of some parental love for her, he had still chosen her over his past and somehow that seemed to absolve her sins.

She had waited until the Taviora party had left before following the gray, silver, and black boy back to her den, her heart thud-thumping in her chest like a hammer against an anvil. Her ice blue eyes, so normally filled with an aloof sort of sadness, were fair sparking with her joy and she didn't give him a moment to pause as she said, "Sven, come with me," before loping away. She never demanded he go with her anywhere. There was always that timid way of her asking, afraid of being rejected by him but never wishing to press him into more as she saw the somber look in his growing almost-adult eyes. But this time she would have this moment - this time, she would spill her world to this boy who had become a part of hers.

So she leaves behind the mist of the mountains and lopes into the forests of the woodlands. The rich, heady scent of spring is everywhere and the soil is moist beneath her paws from a recent shower. Birds chirp and she can hear the droplets of water trickling down branches and leaves, falling into her thick fur without ever touching her heated skin. Once they are in the woodlands she turns around abruptly, stopping, and eyes shining as she looks at him. Really looks at him - the fine, handsome figure he has become.

"Sven..." she begins, taking a deeper breath and offering a lovely smile to him. "I do not know why you chose to stay with me. Here, in this forest somewhere I found you. I took you. I made you lost, and yet you have now been found. I still do not remember that day but I do remember the look on your face when you told me what had happened." For a moment her face shutters and she holds a very sad, breakable expression, but then it is gone once more in her happiness.

"I do not know why you stayed but I am glad you did. I know that you might never love me as a mother, perhaps never love me at all, but know that I do love you. You may not have been birthed from my body or chose me for your mother, but I have raised you. It has not always been the life you wanted and you have not been happy for much of it, but I have watched you grow and I have taken care of you, haven't I? I won't ask for you to think of me in such a way if you don't already, but you are my son, Sven. I am proud of you, son, and I thought you ought to know this." It is fitting, she thinks, that she has brought him here. This was the beginning of their life together and this will be the end of the guilt that has haunted her. Here, she can finally know peace, and she can finally show Sven herself freely.

"I... don't know why your mother never found you before.. and why I never looked before. Guilt, I suppose, on both of our sides." Now she sits finally, pressing her haunches firmly into the ground and feels the wet dirt cling to her and for a moment she thinks - I guess Heyel was right. "And in a way, selfishness. I once had two children long ago, but even a mother's love cannot protect them from disease and the violence of the world; and my mate has been long dead. I suppose I was lonely, and even if you hated me, you were something to care for, a reason to survive." She stops now, watching him, trying to gauge how he will react to this sudden flurry of information he has never known about her, knowing at once that this moment would define them from here on and holding no trepidation against it.