Amir
”There is no victory with no loss.”
Dead memories of a Legend
Chapter I The life of Voltaire
It is hard to explain. I am moved by my heart. When he tells me that Isola did the right thing banishing me. I… I felt as if I was back to that day. I remembered how Vague held me down, I remembered how disappointed Devil was, the look on his face. I saw that there was anger too and it destroyed me. And when just before my eyes, someone so important to me was going through the same thing. I wanted to stop it. I wanted to do anything to just protect him from this feeling. I felt as if it was myself there and it hurt me just as much. But I froze in place. Uno came to my head, Gecko, Bluejay. I couldn’t leave them. I couldn’t leave my pack. I couldn’t leave Isola herself, who had been nothing but kind to me. She helped me. She was he one who accepted me in Diveen.
So. I couldn’t understand what happened. Did she do the right thing? I know what Devil did was wrong, but… Did it deserve such harsh punishment? Wouldn’t there be any other way? I tried to tell him that his actions were not as bad. That he didn’t truly mean to do it.
Devil scowls and brings back what I am just forgetting. He did hurt an innocent wolf. Possibly would have had even killed her if it wasn’t for Heyel. He tells me that Voltaire had been exonerated. He got his forgiveness. The last part makes my head tilt. He… Doesn’t want his? I don’t understand. Why doesn’t he want forgiveness? But I do not ask as I try to think of something, anything to counter him. To tell him that Isola was too harsh. My muzzle opened, but nothing came.
Perhaps he is right. Isola did what needed to be done… I wished there could be other way. That somehow everything could have been different.
Slowly I start to understand. The pain wasn’t as strong as before. But still, I feel.
I apologize, trying to explain that I just wanted to keep other wolf from feeling what I felt. But he tells me. I couldn’t decide that for him. Devil is right. I know he is right. I… I am sorry. It is just how I am. It is just me.
When my form shakes beyond my control. Showing to him how truly broken I was. He approaches to wrap his neck around mine. My eyes close and I feel his form around mine, protecting me. Comforting me. It made me feel better. He tells me to keep going and I ask him. How can I keep going and be strong if life keeps beating me. I don’t know what do I do to take this pain away. So I ask him. How… How can I keep going and he proceeds. He tells me that I will find my inner strength.
I try to think… What.. What kept me going for so long? After a few moments, my form stopped shaking. My eyes slowly opened and I parted the hug, letting my eyes look into his. There was still confusion. Questions. But it is not Devil who needs to answer them. I need to find the answers myself.
-… But… Devil… Is there anything I could do? For you! Like you did for me when we first stepped in this new Moladion. Please… Is there anything?
I asked kindly. I just wanted to help him, I just wanted to see him happy! It is all. I wanted to help him as he did for me years ago. When I was alone and had nowhere to go. He put me in Diveen! He helped me!
13 Years old | Diveen's Avenging Angel | Forever Bluejay's lover
|