I hate that I hurt her with my decision to be with Seline. Of course it seems I'll be spending more time with Ailith anyway cause Seline has gone MIA. I know that she likes her personal space and she likes to run off and run her own personal errands so I'll welcome her back when she comes but until then, I will hunt and protect Ailith. It's all I know how to do anymore, ever since I imprinted. I do love her. With every ounce in my being, I love Ailith. She is my soul mate, my other half and though I know she accepts every aspect of myself, I don't want to bring that sort of curse into her life.
I don't see how Ailith could ever doubt her own vanity. She is beautiful and breath taking. She is kind and lovable. What's not to like? Any male would be lucky to have her. I feel her pain rise with every sound from my lips but with every knot of pain she feels, I feel it too. It's like a never ending cycle. She doesn't hurt me. I hurt because she hurts. It's both a curse and a blessing. At least this way I'll always know when she needs me. And when I can't get to her, Natu can. Of course if she were in true danger, I wouldn't hesitate to risk myself. I would march right into Spirane and risk my own life just to get to her but I know when she needs companionship and I'm not there, Natu will be.
She listens to both me and Natu and then says that I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. I blink a few times before shaking my head.
"You don't mean that."
She can't. I am never in the same context as best. I am a monster, evil, heartless, and before I met Ailith, I was soulless as well. When I tell Natu my name, I can sense a small sense of happiness in Ailith. She must like to have us talking. I'd do anything to make her happy. I notice a smile on Natu's features too as she looks between us. I wonder briefly what she sees. Does she see the vampire and an angel who could never be his? Does she see a selfish prick who hurt his imprint on purpose by choosing another as his mate? I find myself only wanting to know what she's thinking because she means so much to Ailith. I usually could care less what others think but she is important to Ailith.
I nod my head in agreement.
"Likewise."
At her question to Ailith, I shake my head and look between them.
"Don't leave on my behalf. I was the one who interrupted. I only want to know that you are okay and I will leave you be with Natu. Just know that I'm always here."
I search Ailith's face. I will know if she's lying. I can feel it in my soul.
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əric
so just bite me baby
and drink all my blood
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