Confusion swam through the brute’s mind at the female’s actions. He had not interacted with a female like this before, had not had much interaction with anyone as of late really. Though the pack he was now alpha of had a certain reputation, he was not evil and cruel at his core. The world had made him grow up faster than he should have and showed him what the world was really like. He was now often bitter and was not quick to trust others. He would usually rather be alone than in the company of others, but he did grow bored and even lonely at times. He was now a very different wolf than the one that had left his father’s pack many years ago. He knew that if his father could see him now that he would not like what he saw. But the cruel world that existed had taken his father away, so why should he still be that kinder, more just and fair varg that his father had raised? He saw no point in that, so he had turned into a different being, one that was more suited to the harsh reality of living.

When the female that had been with him for quite some time now came to him whimpering and whining a part of him was thrown back to life with his parents and siblings. They had all shared a den and his parents were the kind and coddling type. He never went to sleep alone and was often curled up with his brother, Summer, when they were young. If he had a nightmare or anything that awoke him, his mother and father were always there to calm him down and assure him that he was okay. Surely that was the way sane and normal wolves acted to others? He had seen his mother act the same way around others that were not blood relatives, and it was part of the reason that so many loved being under his parents reign. And now here he was, lashing out and snarling at a varg that was coming to him for comfort. Grey Wind knew that both his parents would not like the wolf he had become, but he didn’t know how else to cope with the emotions and feelings that had threatened to drive him mad when he had fled as a teen. The grey brujo had not thought that much about his parents and what they would be thinking of him since he had joined Abendrot, and it felt weird to think of them when they had been out of his life for so long now.

Regret flinched through the brute for a moment when he saw Macaria’s reaction to him. The smaller femme leapt away from him, most likely expecting his jaws to make contact with her. He heard, and felt, her head slam against the back of the den, but she did not stay away from him for long. The slim femme was already crawling back to him as he spoke. It was one of the nicer things that he had said to her, maybe it was because of the memories and weird feeling of guilt in him. But his vocals were softer this time, not as loud and harsh as when he spoke to her. Usually he saw her as his property, his prisoner and slave to do whatever he wanted with. But he was now starting to see her like an equal. She had skills that he did not have, that none in Abendrot currently had, and though her personality could be a hindrance, that was an important thing to keep in mind. If he did kill her, or break her too much, then she would be of no use to him or to his pack. Yellow portals focused on her frame in a different way, in a way that he would look at anyone wishing to join Abendrot’s ranks, as he would look at a free wolf. And for the first time since he had brought her here, he mentioned that she was not a prisoner, that she had a choice to stay. Though he knew he couldn’t let her leave, that annoying feeling of guilt was creeping its way back in at the thought of forcing her to stay as he had already done.

Grey Wind asked her to at least try and pretend not to be frightened. There was no way he could force Macaria not to be scared, pain and force would only create more fear, and that was the only way he knew how to deal with things now was with pain and fear. Macaria’s darker colored cranium nodded furiously at his words. She whined once more, a sound that still annoyed him, and a flash of irritation swept across his features for a moment before he made his facial muscles go lax again. "I promise, Grey, I'll do better, I won't be an embarrassment to you or to your station. I'll make myself worthy... If you want I can go search out other healers to learn from so that I'm more useful. I never completed my training after all and I want to make you proud and not be a burden to you." Hearing her call him Grey this time made him flinch, the weird memories from before coming back again. He had not missed his family in a long time, burying their ghosts with his humanity long ago. But with Macaria, it was all coming back. He mumbled for a moment before tunring away from her. "Just try not to stray too far from Abendrot if you have to leave.” Somehow a part of him knew that she would come back to him, but he did not speak that out loud. When he pushed his back to her, confused by the feelings that her touching him made him feel, he felt her tongue grooming his back. All of his muscles went stiff, and he had to force himself to not move, to not reach over and bite and snap. The feelings within him though, they were too intimate and foreign. This was not something that one as Macaria should be doing to him, not to one that had tortured her and kept her prisoner. That was what a family member, a close friend, a mate did. Not ones with their dynamic. The uncertainty of what was happening made him feel almost panicked, and he had not felt this type of thing since coming to the pack.

Before the brute’s mind could slow down and make a decision on what to do, she had stopped. But he still couldn’t relax. There was something off and weird about him and it was unsettling. Since coming to Abendrot he had made sure everything in his life was controlled and in order, and now it was different with Macaria here. She pushed her nose under his jaw, and with the movement he got to his paws, fur on edge and a weird, almost crazed look in his yellow eyes. "What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?” He did not know if she would understand what he was asking, but if he stayed too close to her he felt like he was going to go mad.