“It’s been a year.”

“I know, I know, it’s just…”

“A YEAR! You left me here, wondering, for an entire year! I didn’t know how they were doing! I didn’t know what was happening!”

Oswin didn’t hesitate, looking at her brother with his one ear pinned back and his remaining golden eye blazing in fury. The same anger built up quickly inside her and, ears lacing back, she lunged forward to snap at him. With a squeal of surprise Nephilim jerked back and cracked the threads of his tail against his hind end.

“IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING WHY DON’T YOU GET OVER YOURSELF AND GO SEE FOR YOURSELF?!” Oswin screamed with rage, her voice breaking the monotonous of this private little valley Nephilim had been occupying for near on three years. “I’ll have you know I happened to have a CHILD and my life doesn’t revolve around YOU, you selfish prick!”

Nephilim kept his ear turned back and snorted, pawing at the ground and working through the anger. “You had a kid?” He finally managed to ask in the silence, looking up at Oswin just briefly.

Oswin softened. “Yes. I have a daughter. I named her Klara.”

Nephilim hesitated, but a small smile slowly worked its way over his mouth. “I remember when my girls were young, playing among the snow drifts in the Bay…” His voice held a sorrowful lilt. It was both wonderful and absolutely terrible to remember his daughters when they were young.

“Nephilim… I don’t get it anymore.” Oswin sighed. “I couldn’t ever imagine hiding away from Klara. How can you do this to Mariael? To Maziel? To Zevulun?”

Nephilim’s ear turned back again and his tail twitched in annoyance. “You wouldn’t get it unless something like this happened to you.” His voice said dryly. “I’m no use to them alive. I wouldn’t be capable of surviving

Tinuvel’s winter. I won’t live at the Lagoon. I won’t live on Crossing – it reminds me too much of when I was a yearling.”

Oswin watched him for a moment, wondering how so much time had passed and he could still cling to this notion he was useless and unnecessary.

“I can make a case for you to live at the Peak,” she suggested.

“A pity home?” Nephilim snorted. “No.” He shook his head. “I’ve already told you, I have no intention of ever returning to the islands. Go home to your daughter, Oswin. She needs you more than I do.”

Oswin could not help but sigh in both frustration and sadness, reflecting on the conversation she’d had with her brother merely a week prior. She had thought he’d had enough of living alone and isolated, particularly after Dances had visited him so long ago, but it was as if time froze for Nephilim. He looked the same – dull coat snagged on bones, he was just eating and drinking enough to get by, but never gorging. He acted the same. He refused to come home and he refused to let Oswin tell his children he’d been alive this whole time.

Glancing at Klara – her sweet daughter was growing up, getting taller with each day that passed, nearly six months old now – Oswin knew she couldn’t keep visiting Nephilim like she had before. She was General of the Peak now and needed to keep a vigilant eye across the islands for any misbehavior that might need her assistance. She was a mother and needed to be here for her daughter, to help her grow and make the right choices in life. Nephilim… Oswin’s heart ached… Nephilim just couldn’t be so dependent on her.

Perhaps she would seek out Dances again, tell him of her predicament and ask if he might visit Nephilim more frequently. Still… if he hadn’t been to see Nephilim in a year, just as she hadn’t, perhaps there was just cause. Why did focusing on her life feel as if she was abandoning her brother?

“Look Mama! Aunty Nova!” Klara’s voice jolted Oswin from her frustrated thoughts. She blinked in surprise and glanced toward where Klara was looking and sure enough, there she saw her sister approaching with a little surprise in tow. Happiness swelled inside her as it often did whenever Oswin saw Nova, and her previous thoughts of woe were tossed aside to be replaced by happiness at their reunion. She whinnied loud and welcoming and started forward, trotting toward Nova with a wide smile, Klara close behind her with the same happy grin.

“Nova!” Oswin said when she was close enough, drawing up and reaching out to fondly bump her muzzle against her sister. “I’ve missed you terribly.”

Klara smiled a little more bashfully – she hadn’t seen Nova since she was a tiny thing just getting her bearings in the world. “Hi Aunty Nova.”

“And whose this beauty?” Oswin asked, smiling at Vita Nova’s daughter.

Of course there were other things she wanted to ask her - how are things on Tinuvel? Is Orkaan treating you fairly? Do you want to leave? - but these were serious matters that could be discussed after she spoke generally with Nova and caught up on how her sister was doing now that she, too, had joined motherhood.

oswin
this is as brave as I know how to be.
I know it’s gonna hurt you, but please… be a little proud of me.