I AM SPINNING IN INFINITY

She glanced at him, uncomfortable with the notion that she might see her rapist put in the ground no matter how much he deserved it. Perhaps she should simply move on from him entirely-- what did it matter, if he were to be alive or dead? For all that she knew, he could have crawled out of his shallow grave and be walking the earth to this day. Ehiyeh hummed under her breath, swaying slightly to the side before straightening herself once more. "No." She rasped, then quietly considered the simplicity of the answer before adding something as an afterthought. "But thank you, Elohim." He rarely meant harm, after all, and never to her. With her onset of clarity, she recognized that she shouldn't hurt him as much as she tended to.

Ehiyeh could almost feel it, his desire to retreat inside of himself, and she stretched towards him slightly as if encouraging a pup to come out of an old badger's den. She shook her head at his dismissive statement but made no comment, showing her disapproval through her piercing gaze. Transparency was something that had never been a part of their family, but they had it with each other. It was a good thing and not something they should throw away in favor of comfort. "When I stumbled home that night," She took a deep breath. "Our father promised he would kill for me, and he did. But the promise of revenge made me feel no better. I think, perhaps, it was an act to make himself feel better-- as he could not remove the pups from my belly or turn back time to prevent it from happening. Killing that bastard was all that our father could do."

Somewhere in her speech, her gaze had wandered from Elohim. As she continued, it snapped back towards him, locking onto him like prey. "In some twisted way, it was an act of care for me. It is a sad thing, I think, to believe in vengeance over living." Ehiyeh shrugged, then, her bony shoulders jutting upwards. For whatever reason, the darkness had not dissipated when its originator had been eliminated.

It was not a perfect world that they lived in. It was a strange and a dangerous place, in between shadows and waves, hidden underneath the sands on the beach. Their world was a light in the distance that flickered and bobbed but never quite went out; it was a lightning strike that turned sand into glass. "Our world has always been grey." She said, her voice drifting once again. "Does the fact our father killed for me really mean that he cares for me? Greyness is subjective, Elohim. You lose yourself not in the grey, but in the moving between black and white. It is better, I think, to stay in the middle-- then you can see both sides."

ehiyeh