Her lids narrowed over her eyes, concentrating on the stallion she shared the little opening between trees with. It was as if she was looking for some trace of fallacy in his words just as she had when they’d first shared a conversation together. Dock couldn’t believe he was so openly and casually admitting to enjoying her company. “You really, really are the strangest stallion I’ve ever met.” She echoed the words she’d said before and even though they still held a clip of their original amazement they were almost teasing now – teasing because she remembered how he’d smiled the last time she said it. It was strange, because Dock never thought she could be the sort to tease and play. But now, saying the words, she didn’t even realize just how easily she was enjoying this conversation. How easily she was enjoying Valentine’s company.
Hell, just the fact that she was enjoying anything at all was a miracle all on its own.
But then the obvious statement was made. The figurative cloud of depression and anguish that lurked from rotted, poisonous memories was brought to the front of their conversation. Immediately when the words left Valentine’s mouth, when he acknowledged the curved swell of her belly, Dock sucked a sharp breath of air inward. The smile and the ease of her muscles disappeared, lips pressing in a line as her body coiled, tense and tight. Thinking of the foal in her womb brought a sickness crawling up her throat, as if the little developing demon inside was infesting more than just her physical being and poisoning all of her.
The tail at her haunches flicked and she drew a step back as though she meant to turn and flee without a word. But something held her there in that clearing with Valentine. “If I decide to let it live.” Her voice was small, tense; it trembled slightly with emotion. She had not dared to confess to either sister that she intended to kill it, but the thought was growing more and more tempting. But would it be seen as evil if she wished to kill a foal that couldn’t defend itself? That needed her to live? Even when it’s very existence only reminded her of those two horrible days that seemed to stretch on for years?
“I didn’t want it,” she whispered, head dropping and ears flicking out to the sides as her tail sunk, as her whole body sunk. “I don’t want it.” Her eyelids closed as hot tears pricked at her eyes, threatening to spill over. “Is that evil of me?” She almost choked on the words and closed her eyes tighter. “All I think of when I think of this foal is… Is…” But she couldn’t finish the sentence. The sobs finally choked her.
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