Falls

He hadn’t found Mariael or Maziel, but his initial decision to swim to Crossing Isle and be certain his daughters were safe had been thrown off-kilter due to his run-in with Vita Nova. Nephilim walked like the blind, one foot in front of the other, dished skull slung low and long cream tail dragging at his hind. Twigs snagged his hair, scratched his gold-flecked coat but he didn’t attempt to dodge their grasp. His skin twitched involuntarily, reacting to the sensation of the little sticks scratching him, but he didn’t seem to be aware.

His mind was an endless spinning track of his conversation with Nova and his heart had climbed into his throat. He was tormenting himself by etching every frame of their meeting into his memory, burning it there so it might haunt him any time he started to feel as if things may get better. He didn’t deserve to have better. In this moment the choice to follow Maziel into the sea was no longer looked at through the eyes of a father – Nephilim could hardly think of the actual reason he’d plunged into the ice cold, autumn storm surf a year ago. Now he could only think of those he’d failed and not the actual reason as to why he’d left.

It seems my father was right about you.

Tears burned in his eyes as he stopped. Within the span of a few seconds his emotions churned from numbness to sorrow to guilt to rage. Both ears pulled flat against his poll as his dark lips twisted. Light flashed in his eyes of gold as he jerked his head upright and saw red. All the confusion of abandonment and fear of abuse and lack of self-confidence instilled in him by a poor upbringing reared its ugly head in the form of anger. Nephilim reared up, cutting air with his hooves. When he landed he rocked forward, hopped, kicked out and struck a tree with his back hooves. The sound was a crack that split the open air and a few pinecones thumped against the ground in the silence that followed. A squirrel chittered angrily at him from a tree over where it had to jump to avoid being knocked off a branch.

Nephilim breathed in great, heavy gulps, his sides heaving with the effort. He shook his head as if forcefully trying to dispel the thoughts turning themselves over and over in his head, threatening to quickly become grief again after his temporary burst of rage.