Goddamnit, Rehoboam cursed internally as the boy's face shifted into an ill-fitting mask; he didn't know if the new guardedness came from Reh's own dumbfounded shock (he hadn't really believed Azizi was real at first, and not some elaborate figment of his imagination), or if it was from something worse. Perhaps the boy already knew what had happened, and what had passed between him and Shenzi.
We'll be okay. The words cause Rehoboam's throat to tighten with emotion and he tries in vain to clear it, his eyes strangely misty. He remembered uttering those same words to Azizi after he and Shenzi had parted ways, in the same uncertain tone that Azizi now used. Would it be okay? Rehoboam didn't know anymore.
As the boy inquires further about Shenzi and her whereabouts, Rehoboam has to manually force his body to relax.
"I haven't seen her, here," he clarifies, unable to fully escape the emphasis on just
where he'd seen Shenzi. As the boy continues, Rehoboam cannot hide the surprise and dismay on his face, his entire posture stiffening as realization dawns.
Nyimara had already tried to take him. Had already tried to steal Zi's freedom the same way that she'd already done to him. Hatred flashed hot and red in his belly again but he gritted his teeth and forced a steadying breath into his lungs. It wasn't Azizi's fault. Hell, it wasn't even Shenzi's fault. Nyimara was just irredeemably wicked, determined to ruin everything Rehoboam held dear, even when she didn't know it.
"Nyimara tried to take you?" He forced himself to clarify, stepping back from the edge of hasty generalizations.
"But you got away," he continued on with his thought, assuming that if Nyimara hadn't already trotted Azizi out on a leash that the boy had either been saved by his own cunning or (free as he was from tainted association with Rehoboam himself) that one of the Lagoon brothers had stepped in to help him.
Azizi's determination to shift the blame onto his own shoulders only amplifies the guilt in Reh's belly, but he shakes his head determinedly and searches for the boy's gaze. However, as his mouth opened to tell his pseudo-son-brother-nephew that he was right to be afraid, he found the words ashen in his mouth. As much as Rehoboam would prefer Zi stay safe and secure in the Lagoon, where there were others to help protect him, the fact that the boy - after being nearly being raided by Nyimara - had come here to help him meant more than Reh could convey.
He had done his best to avoid thinking about the Lagoon and the silence that had followed his capture, but the Dunes were an empty landscape and his options were to either lament the heat, grumble about Nyimara, or reflect on his pain. And there was a lot of pain to look back at.
He couldn't force the words out, and so he did the only thing he could think of and stretched to touch him in the way that his father had always conveyed approval to his children. Brusquely, and without sound, he pressed a small benediction to Azizi's forehead, and then ushered him away.
"Good," he answers, voice thick, as Azizi confirms his location was unknown. It probably wasn't a good thing in all reality, because there would be no one to come save him if Rehoboam failed to keep him safe. As Zi touches him, Reh meets his gaze, knowing that he could not escape the inevitable any longer.
We could find somewhere faraway enough... he was saying and Reh blinked rapidly to clear his eyes.
"I wish I could Zi, more than anything in this world, I wish I could." He drew in a breath and stretched to touch the grown colt again, hating the way that turning him down was breaking his heart.
"But I can't... I-"
His voice faltered. He didn't know if he was ready to admit his betrayal of self to anyone, let alone Azizi. But how else could he explain his inability to leave?
"She has something of mine," he finally murmured, wincing at the inadequacy of the explanation. His skin shivered with his discomfort and he begged Azizi to understand; not just
this, not just Nyimara, but Shenzi and Titania and Celestine too.
"I can't leave them." Knowing it was cowardly but unable to stop himself, Reh hurried to the next bit of conversation, hoping that speaking of something else would give him the strength he needed to tell Azizi what had transpired between him and Shenzi.
"Is... How is Celestine? Is she angry?"