<font face="times" color="#fff">you're in the darkness all alone</font>

	HEAD OF THE PRAIRIE zevulun
SECONDARY		THIRD
castillon		lir

GUARDIANS jasper, micah, thames, lohan

RESIDENTS OF THE PRAIRIE
hirka, eira, aura	eirena, frond, aurelie, luna mage, daire, vervain, claret lior, hael, atropa belladonna vernonia	name, name, name

CHILDREN OF THE PRAIRIE
eriana, name, name	odette, eudora, dolores adira	name, name, name

ALLIES		ENEMIES
rafe (badlands) evrain (hills) sephiroth (thicket) bacardi (forest) mariael (arch) tyr & oswin (ridge)		none

GUIDELINES - the Prairie stands as a symbol of peace and prosperity among the islands - anyone is welcome to live here so long as they do not bring harm to the Prairie or any of it's residents - adventure and exploration is not only allowed, but encouraged! residents are asked to use their better judgement and not travel to places that could bring them harm - the head of the prairie has final say in all prairie matters. the secondary and third positions are not able to be challenged for and are selected by the head - the guardians take on a more active role in the prairie; they must protect the inhabitants of the prairie and go on patrols of the prairie borderlines and shore. they can welcome strangers to the prairie and invite anyone to live here, though they must inform one of the leaders of any newcomers or visitors

you're in the darkness all alone
Posted on January 19, 2024 at 10:30:33 PM by Aura

Aura

My head is still low as I watch the exchange between the two young stallions. The voice in the back of my head reminds me how stupid I am. My parents died for me to live, and I can't even try to get away from a raider. The fact that someone has to come to defend me when I won't adds a caustic weight of embarrassment and shame.

I am relieved when the stranger takes his eyes off of me, but my chest was still clenched with anxiety. It tightens at the muscle that run down the crest of my neck. I'm still trying to figure out how to breathe between trying to be present in the moment to run when or if I need to and trying to stop my mind from screaming at me. The weight of it is unbearable on my lungs . Every deep breath I take to calm myself burns, and it affixes me to the spot.

I don't hear the rest of the verbal spar and barely catch the sound of the stranger diving into the surf. The effort to not simply fall apart had taken almost everything I had. I am a trembling, fragile mess, overcome with guilt and shame when my protector turns to me. My breathing is barely controlled, but obviously ragged. I don't have the energy to put the mask back on and act like I'm okay. Knowing that tires me down to my bones.

Castillon is saying he's sorry. I only want to shake my head at him as I raise it back up. He had protected me. I wasn't even his to protect. "Are you okay? He didn't. . . He didn't touch you, did he? I vehemently shook my head at this, relief and terror flushing through my veins. Despite my efforts, I fall apart. Sobs rack my greying body and choke me. The tears flow freely down my face.

I can't even care that it's basically a stranger who sees this vulnerable moment. I can only feel the emptiness of the entire world around me. I shouldn't be here. I should be home with my mother and father. We should still be together, living high in the mountains. Their deaths had taken my will to live, my will to survive, and this experience had conclusively proved that.

How to express this to Castillon? I haven't said a word, even to my brother, since he found me. Not a word of gratitude to Zevulun, who harbored us so graciously. How could I ever explain the depth of my grief and loneliness? How could he know that I can't imagine having a full life without them to experience it with me? I lost my whole family, and I know they would have wanted more than this for me. I can only cry, hoping my shaking legs can hold me.

Replies:

you know the tune so the words dont matter - By castillon February 1, 2024 at 03:42:33 AM
- and no one cares; there's no one there - By Aura February 2, 2024 at 03:28:28 AM
  - you know the tune so the words dont matter - By castillon February 7, 2024 at 11:00:05 PM
    - but did you see the flares in the sky? - By Aura February 8, 2024 at 00:18:26 AM
      - you know the tune so the words dont matter - By castillon March 10, 2024 at 00:49:02 AM
        
        were you blinded by the light? - By Aura March 23, 2024 at 09:33:29 PM

INVALID - By loveinspired December 11, 2023 at 04:16:27 PM
- [x] - By loveinspired December 11, 2023 at 04:17:46 PM

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