My father was obviously displeased with my actions...or lack there of. I came upon him a few days ago, and he spoke to me for the first time. I knew he was capable, I knew it and I was correct in that his sadness somehow made it to where his voice didn't work. I didn't understand how that was possible and I don't think I ever will. He chose not to speak to me for my whole life, he chose to let my social and vocal development get way behind because of it. He made those decisions instead of teaching me how he should have. I am not bitter though, I said yes to him asking for my forgiveness and then he basically stormed off away from me. He doesn't speak to me for two years and then gets moody when I say one word in reply? I do not know what to say. I know others talk but I don't know what about. My language skills are not good, not good at all since it was my mother who only spoke to me, and that was rare. I cannot formulate words and responses like others, not yet. All of it was confusing and I already dislike dealing with others. There really is no point being in the company of others. I suppose I prefer being alone, but really, it doesn't matter either way.
I walk on my silver legs, they are dull in the cool shadows that house my frame. I am sitting on some damp moss, a green blanket that covers the dirt all around. I hear the gentle lap of water near by, and the air is thick with the smell of swamp and decay. I sit next to a large tree, with roots jutting out all around. Vines droop all around, adding to the sulky and depressing state of the land. I do not really notice all this damp foliage around me. I am busy staring, my golden eyes fixed on a random point in space. I do not stare at anything in particular, I stare through it. Not like I can see that well anyway, my right eye is blind. I am a defected creature, I lack perfection for I cannot even use one of my eyes, so what is the point of that eye? It is still there, sitting in its socket being useless. How completely irritating. My teeth grind, and I feel a tiny growl building in the pit of my throat. I am the weak link of the family, the reject and I yet I am forced to live out this meaningless existence and am forced to contemplate my uselessness for this whole time that I live.
My mother is the Queen of Iromar, she managed to climb high on the social ladder and yet I do not feel welcomed at what is supposed to be my home. Caligula is always showing me her teeth and giving me the stink eye. The others are pup eaters, and eating pups are apparently not a good thing to do and yet my mother chooses to have them in their company. I am honestly confused, my father doesn't seem to approve but I do not know what is what. I do not know what is right or wrong and at this point I don't think I care. I fidget as I feel the moss between my toes, my stare continuing and I am tired. I am already tired of this life and I think I will just sleep. I fall to my belly, my limbs sprawling out carelessly around me. I let my black lids cover my golden eyes. I begin to drift into sleep, the smell of damp death lulling me into a dream. Maybe I can be happy here.
Two Year - Chased by None - Chasing by None |