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I pace restlessly beside the large oak tree, my mind still in shambles. I dream about Natalya. I see blood and Calliel on the ground. I see what I did to her all over again and it haunts me. I failed Natalya and I failed my pack. I failed my family. I replay the hurt in Kane's eyes as he stood beside his mate and told me to leave Diveen, that I'm not welcome anymore. Isola was angry, as she should be. I attacked her daughter. I deserve this fate of exile. I know that I'm not welcome in any of the ally packs. They will have heard what happened and they will know that I can't be trusted. The only one who stuck by me was Kiska. She came for me when I didn't deserve it and I can't thank her enough. She is my salvation, yet I don't know if we can be as we once were. With my imprint bond severed, I feel empty inside but slowly with time, I know it will get better. It can only get better from here, right? Natalya wouldn't want this for me. She wouldn't want me to grieve for her for the rest of my life. She had too much life in her to want that for me. And yet our children...I let them down. Jakayden and Exodus are without a father and mother now and that's because of me. I should have stepped up and took care of them but instead I grew weak and feeble and turned to my insanity. I am not fit to be a father. I let everyone down and I deserve only a life of misery and loneliness now. I haven't seen much of Kiska lately but I know she went back to Taviora to have her children. I bet they're beautiful, even if they're not mine. I seeth a bit at just the thought of someone else touching Kiska like that but I know that she does deserve happiness and apparently I can't do that for her. I'm trying to make myself move on so I don't burden her or drive her down. I wouldn't want that for her. When I smell someone nearby, I tense up, hackles bristling to life. I know that I'm being hunted. I just don't know when they'll find me. I stay on the move so its harder for them to find me. This smell is somewhat familiar though. Voltaire? It smells like him but someone else is with him. My tail waves once, ears flicking back uncertainly. What would he want with me? I would think none of them would want anything to do with me. Sighing heavily, I head toward the smell. As I get closer, I see a younger wolf and recognize him as Uno, Amir's son. My head lifts up in surprise. Why is he here? I step out of the shadow of the tree, ears pricked forward but flicking back and forth uncertainly. My tail sways low behind me. Bright golden eyes gleam with curiosity as I tilt my head and stop a few feet from him. "What brings you out to see the big bad wolf?" My voice is filled with bitterness. |