unable to bind.mated to none.father to Eztli, Lixue, Petra, Citlalli, & Itzel.Taviora

She wasn't the only one wishing she could communicate with him better, even just a few words, enough to give him a better idea of what was going on inside her pretty little head. He had always thought he was rather good at communicating with anyone, no matter what, and yet still he felt limited. Maybe if he could pick up the handy skill of reading minds, he could do anything. He had always found friends who had trouble communicating. Tuari was the first and then Wren, another mute. Now he had Alistair, a deaf wolf that was his partner in solving a great crime from years ago. The crime of poisoning his brother. He had conversation with them but when it came to getting this close to someone, you just got to a point where you wanted them to be able to open their mind to you, tell you whatever. And he was sure it was frustrating for her that she couldn't tell him everything, no matter what.

When leaves went in her face, she sneezed but he was worried. He didn't want to get dirt in her eyes or something. He would never forgive himself if she ended up scratching her eye and went blind or something. She was trying to brush it off though, her mouth moving in what looked like laughter even though there wasn't a sound and thens he batted her paw at him. He chuckled and squirmed away from it, rolling over on his back and pawing right back at her upside down.

"Just checking."

He assured her. He could tell she was restless about something and with the onset of winter, it only seemed to get worse. She often looked at him in a different way than usual, a way that made his skin feel like it was burning and urges built up that he'd never really thought about before. Sure he's always had instincts in certain seasons but since he'd never been close to a female, it didn't bother him as much. He learned to avoid females around that time and just go about his business. But now that he was back and being social, it was getting a lot harder, especially around the two important girls in his life. He was attracted to Talien from day one and his friendship with Tuari, well, it had morphed at some point at the onslaught of winter and he wasn't sure how or why. She was an attentive listener as always and he loved that about her. He could see the understanding in her eyes when he told her that he'd never planned on getting close to anyone because of his profession. He didn't want any of the monsters he hunted to know that he could be hurt too.

He knew the mind games his targets liked to play. If they found out about him hunting them, they would find a weakness and exploit it. No one would be safe here. His friends, his family. Certainly not anyone he was romantic with. He didn't want that bulls-eye on anyone he cared about. He somehow felt that he could open up to Tuari about his feelings, even about Talien. He knew if she cared about him like he was beginning to think she did, then she might be hurt by this news, but he'd rather be open now than have her find out later on down the road when things might be even more complicated. He didn't want to lead anyone on. He didn't want to be THAT guy, the one who plays more than one female at a time and keeps them all hooked but never makes a decision and settles down. He didn't want that kind of life. He wanted to be the wolf his father had raised. He wanted to be a one woman kind of wolf, make one wolf happy for the rest of his life, just like Coza and Moth.

Their love was legend. He couldn't have the imprint love like they did but maybe, just maybe, he could have something close. Tuari had been his friend since childhood but would she still be his friend if he didn't choose her? He didn't want to lose her in any way but he knew that pain would come with rejection and he would never forgive himself if he didn't be a man and make that choice before things got any more twisted. He knew she was about to nuzzle him and maybe that's what made him panic into bringing up Talien. Tuari deserved to know. She recoiled upon hearing the news just as he knew she would so he wasn't surprised but even then he couldn't prepare himself for the inner pain he felt to know that he had already started hurting someone, his best friend. She slowly reached forward after he spoke and touched her nose to his. He was holding his breath without even knowing it and he only let it out after she had pulled away.

He knew what she was trying to say. He always had a way of knowing without hearing her speak. It's like sometimes her emotions were so strong that she could speak to him with her eyes, with her heart. He knew that he was right, that she was falling for him and the damage was already done. She didn't know what to tell him. She wouldn't even if she did. She would never ask him to drop everything for her just as he never would for her. When her eyes pulled away, he felt his heart breaking a little because he knew she was hurting and there was nothing he could about it because he had caused this. She touched him again and he felt her determination. She wanted him to know for sure how she felt. It was only crushing his heart more. He wondered how she felt about Talien. Was she happy for him or did she only feel pain? Was she angry at him? She had every right to be. He should have seen the signs earlier. He should have stopped it before it ever got this far.

He only blamed himself. When she rolled from her back to her stomach, he glanced over, wondering if she was about to bolt. His jaw clenched and he slowly rolled and stood up. His eyes met hers and his ears drooped, his head low and his tail tucked.

"Tuari....I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to....I'm sorry."

It was all he could think of to say. And then because he couldn't stand to see her hurting anymore, he suddenly bolted, running headlong into the forest. He didn't glance back because he knew if he did, he would see her pain and he would want to go running back. He would want to comfort her and he didn't want to send any more mixed signals. He didn't want to hurt anymore, not these wolves. Not the ones he cared about. He had never felt more like a failure.