I AM SPINNING IN INFINITY

She turned back towards him for a brief moment, her head turned to the side quizzically at his very paternal response to her brushing against him. The look was not accusatory, nor was it offended, but simply curious. She had never seen Elohim as she saw Eden, but perhaps her dark brother simply hid it very well. Her head turned back just as he moved beside her and the conversation progressed, her question hanging in the air like an early morning fog. Ehiyeh breathed out slowly, her breath clouding the air in front of their faces. For now, she was staring at anything that wasn't her brother, a soft flick of her ears was the only motion she made to show that she was paying attention to what he was saying. It was not out of rudeness, but out of the pervasive strangeness that had encapsulated her being since she was a child.

Her eyes lit up as Elohim spoke of their mother and their brother, her hackles raising, as if some danger had been awoken from a deep slumber. It was a topic that they spoke of often, stumbling around in the darkness of it, searching for something and finding nothing. She nodded, then, at his line of questions. "As we often do." The remark was followed by a biting sigh. Ehiyeh had to wonder how things would have been had her mother not left them, taking toddling Eros in her wake-- she still saw him like that, a child like they all had been. Perhaps, in that way, they had both become immortalized. Their true fate mattered little, if she could simply imagine a bloodied woman and a young boy cresting a dune as the sun set behind them.

Their eyes met for a brief moment, and she could see the guilt and uncertainty in his gaze. Ehiyeh pressed her shoulder against his just the slightest bit more. "I know that the bastard lies dead. Our father never told me of his fate, but I... I can feel it. I wonder, now, without the possibility of meeting him... if they would blame me for that. I could never admit to them how they came to be." Her voice sounded strained, choked as if holding back tears, but none came. It was not the violent scream of someone irreparably damaged, but the quiet mourning of someone who had just recently grasped the concept of healing. "If I tell them that he was a bad man, they would ask why... why... why..." The woman trailed off, letting her head hang between her shoulders.

But she had not forgotten what Elohim had said previously. Ehiyeh looked at him, wearily, out of the corner of her eye. "Fear is intrinsic, Elohim. If you did not know him, you would simply fear one day not recognizing your own reflection. Instead of our father, your fears would be bundled up in a faceless shadow." She raised her head, stepping slightly sideways so she could look him in the eyes. "Hate and fear can be interchangeable. Do you hate him, Elohim?"

ehiyeh