Falls

fearghas

Watching her spin to face him was magical - each twist and strand of her tail dancing through the air demanded his attention, as did the way the autumn sun gleaming over the slick silvery ridges of her well-muscled body drew his eye in. It was unbearable to try to take all of her in and yet he couldn't help himself. Fearghas understood intrinsically that each detail that he recorded would be another lash with which his mind would abuse itself later, and yet he couldn't help but hungrily attempt to memorize each detail of her face.

She had grown stronger in his absence. Fiercer. Wilder. She was more herself now and he realized with a mixture of bemusement and chagrin, that he was the side character in her story. The hurdle she overcame to reach her ultimate destiny. The road bump beneath her hooves. It was a fitting comparison, and he half-smiled at the thought of her growing stronger, even though the knowledge that he had hurt her was sobering.

What do you want? He shouldn't have come.

Despite his size, Fearghas shrank further into himself, stepping back toward the tree trunk he had only just emerged past. "I don't-" he stammered, ears flipping backward in uncertainty.

He didn't want to disturb her. To hurt her. To demand any more of their time than he already had. In truth, he hadn't expected to find them here at all. The last thing he wanted to do was to further complicate her path forward.

And yet the moment he tried to deny wanting anything from her, the realization that he, in fact, very much did want things from her overwhelmed him. He wanted to hold her. To apologize. To beg for her forgiveness and to promise her and Seri the world. To right every wrong that he had ever committed against them.

But he didn't dare ask it of her. The hatred flickering in the dark brown eyes he had once promised the world to told him enough of what she thought of him and he swallowed hard against the pain. He deserved to stand and bear the brunt of her loathing, but as with everything else, he found himself lacking and allowed his gaze to slide from her and to rest on their growing daughter instead.

Nearly a year and a half had passed since he had seen her, and the sight of her as an almost adult - sleek and leggy instead of small and fuzzy - broke his heart. How many of her other firsts had he missed? In how many other ways had he let her down as well? Hurting her was worse than hurting Ally, although he didn't have the words to explain why. Seri's life (as far as he knew) had been spent in reclusion and hiding from the stallion that Fearghas had brought upon them. She had been robbed of a normal, safe, light-hearted childhood because of his decision.

Her whole existence was his fault. And while he wouldn't take back that decision, it did add a layer of complex guilt that made him sink beneath the weight of her stare. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the words rise on his lips and spill out of him without conscious effort, their naked truth obvious in the pain with which he speaks. "I'm sorry that I sent you away. I'm… I'm sorry for a lot of things." He frowns and shrinks back another half inch. "I don't - you don't... " Shaking his head, he tries again. "I won't take up more of your time. I just- I just wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. Of both of you, and," he trails off, his gaze filling with tears as he looks upon the colt that clearly calls her mother. "And congratulations," he says finally, nodding subtly to the boy.

stallion . 5 years . 16.1 hands . smoky black blanket . loveinspired . credit