I DON'T WORRY,
WORRYING DON'T AGREE
THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU, NEVER BOTHER ME!

ooc: t/w for some traumatic events being remembered (the murder of a foal)

Talya’s slender, pale legs shook as she climbed out of the ocean and onto the shoreline. She stopped short, head held up high, nostrils flared and blue eyes wide as she studied the land in front of her. The rich, earthy smell couldn’t be buried by the sea-brine and the crisp chill in the air was so unlike the thick, warm, humid way Atlantis was. But Talya remembered it all, as much as she was going to pretend like she didn’t. The way her heart was racing fast and making her feel sick gave away everything.

A sharp, insistent pain tightened and twisted in the bottom of her swollen belly. Annoyed, her ears flicked back and she swung her neck to nip at her own side. She looked forward again, ears and eyes attentive, as if she expected a monster to burst out at any moment. The beach stayed quiet, of course, but so did Talya.

She lifted one hoof out of the water and put it forward. Then another. Another.

What started as a very slow, timid approach became a barely-steady walk with her head high and all senses alert. Any little noise made her snort and shy away. A squirrel chucking an acorn down a tree made her toss her head and squeal, dancing a few awkward steps to the left with the extra weight she carried.

She stopped when she got to the place she would always swore she couldn’t remember. The open grove of trees where the sunlight poured in, golden, and the meadow grass was soft and green in spring, broken up here and there by mountain wildflowers. The last time she had seen this place had been in her worst nightmares. What if she was in one right now?

That pain in her side again…

Talya’s ears pinned and she swung her neck, again nipping at her belly. She inhaled, deep, and closed her eyes as they became wet with tears. It all came rushing back to her.

Luthien.

The Forest Goddess.

The yellow mare.

Mamapapa.

Sabra…

The horrible flashes of Mamapapa grabbing Sabra’s neck and shaking the young filly in a way she wasn’t supposed to be shaken assaulted Talya. She gasped, sobbed, and collapsed to her knees. Panic struck her as her eyes stared helplessly up, paralyzed with the fear the same way she’d been when he’d killed her daughter. Her body trembled with each cry and the pain in her belly grew more and more intense until half of her shouts were because of it, the other half because of the sorrow tearing her heart in two.

As her cries quieted, the sharp, loud call of a bird broke through the haze of misery she was assaulted by. Talya choked, sniffling and blinked her bleary eyes as she lifted her head from where she lay, trying to find it. The bird called again, louder this time, and that’s when she noticed it sitting on the branch of a pine tree just above her. It tilted it’s head, dark eyes on her, and sang it’s song again.

It was enough to drag her back into reality - or, at least, the reality she could comprehend. The one she understood. Not those horrible things she hated to remember happening. The weariness sank heavily in, and with her eyes still on the little kestrel sitting in the pine above, Talya slowly fell asleep.

She awoke only twenty-seven minutes later, when a horrible pain lanced through her body and made her stretch out flat on her side, the large swell of her cream-and-white belly poking out over the spring meadow grasses. Sweat dampened her coat as the contractions came closer together. Talya groaned and panted and uncomfortably stretched while trying to find reprieve from the pain.

The birth wasn’t entirely difficult, though it wasn’t without its challenges. For one, Talya kept finding herself drifting in and out of consciousness. Between the trials of childbirth and the woes peeling away the wool she stubbornly pulled over her eyes for years, the poor thing couldn’t keep up. Time became a confusing shift of memories to reality until it was happening so quickly she wasn’t sure which was the present and which was the past. The only thing that kept her tethered to reality was the insistent chipping of the kestrel she’d hear each time the world went hazy and she started to feel herself fading away. Soon, she needed to push, the birthing progressed further, and she groaned and cried out as she pushed and pushed and felt her second foal slipping from her body and into the world.

Sixteen minutes later, the final shove got the foal out of her completely, where he slipped in afterbirth, still caught in the sac he’d developed in. Talya’s heavy breathing eventually caught, slowed down, and her eyes rolled back, glancing for the tree when she noticed she wasn’t hearing the kestrel’s call any more. The branch was empty; the kestrel, gone.

She frowned, then smelled the bitter smell of afterbirth and heard the awkward shifting at her hind. With a groan against the soreness and pain in her body, Talya lifted her head to look at the little struggling, new thing she’d just brought into the world. She stared at it in awe before reaching over to help break the sac. His dark muzzle poked out first, and the more she ran her pink tongue across his wet, fuzzy coat, the more of him she could see. He was a dark, rich sort of gold with very light tufts of cream hair. His eyes were a dark, dark brown.

Talya blinked as she met them, then looked back up where the kestrel had been, and then down again.

His eyes were the same color as the kestrel’s. The one that had been gone as soon as the birth was done.

“Was that you here with me this whole time?” She asked him, breathless and tired and overwhelmed by emotions and hormones. “My little Kestrel…”

He only looked at her with the sort of reverence a newborn could have, seeing mother for the first time as his little mind raced, trying to process the great, big thing life was.

Talya giggled softly and reached out, bumping her muzzle against his. Tears welled up hot in her eyes and streaked down her cheeks, but she was still smiling and still quite happy. She didn’t want to forget any of this…

“Kestrel…” She said it again and smiled more as her dark gold colt snorted and then blinked those rich, dark brown eyes at her, making soft grunting noises under his breath.