I am wandering again. I do not know where my silver paws take me. They go, they lift and settle into the dirt, over and over and it is almost like I do not control them at all. My body is almost a separate entity to my mind. It has an agenda I do not have, an agenda to live. I breathe even though I do not tell myself to breath, I eat because my body does it. I see not reason for it all. None. It is all pointless, just actions being played over and over. Eat. Breathe. See. Hear. Walk. Drink. Piss. I see no end and no reason. I feel so separate, so empty that I cannot understand it.
I am two winters old. I am a wolf of silver and shadow, darkness like the night, hinted with the light of the moon. I am growing, and have a face that is quite hansom, a build of long legs, strong muscle, something quite nice in terms of build. And yet, none of that matters to me. I walk with my head slung down, my golden eyes staring in an almost lifeless, soulless manner ahead. I push may way through the plants and foliage, various small leafs and twigs caught in my pelt. I am rather careless about it, my pelt. I do not keep it groomed, dirt covered my paws and underside, for I see no reason to clean it.
My mind is constantly thinking, though my thoughts are hardly in language. My father Vague never spoke to me until a few days ago, and my mother...well, Ruvindra wasn't there a whole lot. Language is not my strong point and I don't think it ever will be. I think in pictures, in smells, in natural sounds but the sounds of voices don't come. As I am caught up in the images in my mind, of past places I have been, I realize suddenly that I have come upon many.
I freeze, my black hackles raising. Scents swarm my nostrils and my one good eyes sees them. So many...so many wolves. I twitch my nose, my silver paws backing me up a bit. I want no part of this. I wish not to speak or be involved with any of them. I see that they all feast, they devour and gorge on other life and I find it...I find it strangely sickening, I find nature to be cruel and odd, with creature eating creature eating creature, in more cycles. My mind imagines what it is like to be the bunnies, as I hear their screams in the air. I is all unfortunate. I hate that I must eat like they do, I hate that my body does things and I have no control over it. I grind my teeth, I grind them hard. I must leave.
Two Year - Chased by None - Chasing by None |