I'm still getting used to this whole imprint and mate thing. It feels....troubling. I don't know where Seline has gotten to but I'd like to see her again. I know she was out fighting for a pack and I don't think any differently of her that she didn't win it. I used to want the power, always the power but things have changed now. My priorities have changed. I know that I wll never feel the same way about anyone else as I do for her and in the same sense, nothing can compare to how I feel for my imprint. It almost feels like I'm cheating on Seline just to think about Ailith but I can't help myself.
Today I find myself thinking about her more than usual. Something feels off, almost distressed inside of me. I feel like I need to find her and the weirdest part about it is that I know exactly where she is. It's like my soul is a GPS to hers. I know she may hate me because of Seline but I can't cahnge history. Seline and I have known each other for a long time and though Ailith may accept everything about me, I don't want to bring her into that sort of life. No one needs to see what I do, the way I live. Especially not her.
I lope quietly to the Riverside, ears flat to my skull. My muscles are tense, my tail low behind me because I know this may have something to do with me. She's sad because I didn't choose her. She thinks I left her but that's not true. I could never leave her. I told her I would always be there for her and that wasn't a lie. I can feel what she's feeling and I always seem to know where she is. Fate couldn't have made it easier for me to be there for her.
I know that she's been spending a lot of time in Spirane so I've been lurking the borders. I know better than to go in because that would be suicide but I still keep an eye on her the best I can. If something were to happen to her while in the pack, I wouldn't think twice about going into the pack lands, suicide be damned. Nothing and no one can mean as much to me as she does. I just wish she knew that.
I know I'm close. I can feel her pain deep inside me and it ahces to breathe. I slow down and peer through the bushes, watching her embrace another wolf. This must be Natu. I heard a lot about her and their close friendship. I know that Natu watches over her like a sister so I don't deem her a threat, rather an unspoken ally. I'm sure whatever she's heard about me isn't good but that's not going to stop me from tending to Ailith. I stop where I'm at, unsure of how to proceed. Should I interrupt their moment and possibly upset Ailith more with my presence or would it comfort her on some level to see me? I never know with her. Even though I feel like I know her better than anyone, I don't think I know enough about her.
I finally step out in their line of sight, lowering my head, ice blue eyes as filled with misery as her own. My voice is a whisper.
"Ailith...please, don't cry."
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əric
so just bite me baby
and drink all my blood
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