I never knew how important the word goodbye would become to me. You say it so carelessy, expecting that person to be there again. And then when they're gone, and it's too late to say it anymore, do you finally understand the weight of the word. If I could, i'd go back, reliving all the pain again just so I could say goodbye. The lack of closure left a hole inside of me that i'v come to realize will never be filled. They may say that time can remedy sadness and pain, but, like an open wound, it festers and gradually becomes worse. And right now, I was on the verge of a full scale infection.

It had only been about a year since the genocide of my pack in my brothers piteous attempt to seize power. And less than a season since the rogues had chased me into Moladion. I'd come to call this place sanctuary for the time being., at least until my brother's executioners tracked me down again. I knew for a fact that my brother would not give up the search for me; I was a threat to his rule and he would only feel safe when I was dead, like the rest of our family. There was ever present danger around every corner and, in the end, I chose a life of solidarity for my safety and my sanity. The locals must have known I was here from my foreign scent, but i'd kept myself to the shadows, unseen by anyone. I knew that I mentally couldn't handle interaction right now, not with my packs death looming over me and the constant threat of attack. It was a lonely existence, but i'd always been better off without others; no one to hurt me, no one for me to hurt.

For a few days, i'd found solace and safety in the deep recesses of a system of caves. I didn't know what they were called, but they'd become the perfect sanctuary for me to hide in. Wolves rarely ventured into the cave, but if they found themselves seeking adventure, I would disappear into the shadows like a phantom. There were also ledges for me to perch upon like a hawk to escape if I were seen and pursued by curious wanderers. If worse came to worse and I had myself caught into a violent situation, there were several tunnels that broke away inside the cavern walls; i'd memorized each in the free time I had and knew the twists and turns like the back of my paw. Even the opening of this particular cave was rocky, detouring many wolves from wanting to explore. It wasn't permanent, but it worked.

I danced down the rocks, careful with where I placed my feet. There were several paths to get to the cavern floor, but some where more dangerous than others; one wrong step and the stone would fall from beneath you, sending you tumbling down. There was a lifeless rabbit dangling from my jaws; my meal for the day. The mid day sun beamed in from the opening, but as I descended, I was shrouded in more and more darkness. When my feet landed on solid ground, my silver eyes flashed around, making sure I was utterly alone. When I was sure there was no one lurking in the shadows I trotted into the darkness, splashing in small pools of water that had formed from rain run off.

As the lighting grew darker and darker the farther I pushed back, I strained my eyes, looking for something. My body stayed close to the smooth sides of the cave. I felt my way along until I found the ledge I was looking for and hopped rock from rock up to it. I quickly followed along the wall again, going much slower than before, cautious not to misplace a step or slip to the ground below that had to be about ten feet down. I followed it back till I could see the entrance again and laid down near the edge, keeping watch for intruders. I tucked my rabbit into a small crevice and pushed smaller sized rocks on top of it with my nose, saving it for later. If I ate it now the scent of blood would draw in some predator. I slid onto my side and allowed myself to drift of into a light slumber, my senses still on alert for an approaching wolf.

But I don't want good and I don't want good enough, I want can't sleep, can't breathe without you love....