Istas shifted on his white paws gazing at Renegade with his large blank eyes. It was so had to read into his feelings, having no easily visible pupils worked for and against him sometimes and he couldn’t tell which it was doing for him now. He had learned from his father and brothers to take other subtle cues in body language. Renegade’s poise was loose and relaxed for now, his eyes focused though clearly set on a task. Istas could see these cues and use them now that he was older. Things weren’t as scary but when it came to these matters, well, things did indeed get very complicated very fast. Renegade was hoping ‘Never’ would happen by again not some fluffy male though his unaggressive movements seemed to show Istas that so far he wasn’t bothered by being disappointed.

He didn’t know though yet.

As the white boy started to explain what exactly was going on choosing between truth and lies he couldn’t help but be nervous. His long legs trembled slightly in anticipation of pain or running, Renegade was shorter and Istas knew most would be hard pressed to catch him if he wanted to get away. But as he said the truth and a toothy grin cracked over his maw instead of a look of disgust Istas’ trembling stopped momentarily confused as instead of an attack he received a compliment from the red and white wolf. “You’re… not mad? He said tentatively unable to surpress the shock that came from his maw. He was impressed! But then again he had said he was a sort of spy too in his home lands that could be respect for his skills at being able to impersonate a whole other gender.

He flushed slightly at that tipping his head down though still nervous that perhaps he was better at hiding emotions than Istas thought. His white eyes shot back up to Renegade’s red flicking all about for any sign of sudden aggression. He knew not many would be happy about it, and Renegade, to him, seemed a male full of pride so for it to not be hurt was almost unbelievable to the ghostly wolf.

It was then that Renegade hit the nail right on the head. Why was he scared? He wasn’t going to bite? His mind was blown to say the least. The other male chuckled slightly and his eyes still appeared just normal. He wasn’t angry at all and he watched as he told the male he wanted to check on him seeming amused by the very prospect before uncertainly replying.

Now while none of the males, he thought, didn’t know he actually liked boys. They simply didn’t like being touched with other males. They didn’t know he didn’t want to be with girls that he wished it was easy enough just to be mates with another boy. His imprint was nice yes but he didn’t like he like that, nor was attracted to her all that strongly despite her more masculine appearance. Appearance aside it was her scent that did not drive him to be close. The thick musky scent of males drove him mad during the seasons and during winter the putrid scent of heat was enough to make him queasy while all other males went crazy for it. He was strange and he knew it! It was why he never dared speak of how he really felt and instead tried to just get as close as he could. So when Renegade asked him if it was ‘real’ or not Istas knew what he had to say.

“It wasn’t real.” He said immediately, ”Boys… don’t like other boys like that.” He started uncertainly though ended on a fairly confident note. Was it real? Well it was all too real for Istas he enjoyed every second of contact with the male that stood before him, he was starved for it in fact, but was it real? No. It wasn’t real it was just fantasy, he was playing games but still he then wondered, did Renegade think it was real?

”Was it… uhh real for you? You didn’t like her too much, did you? You seemed like you were enjoying the attention.” He felt bad if it had been. Too many times had Istas been let down by boys he liked. Chael he knew didn’t like him that way even if Istas wished he woud, Naberius didn’t understand and now… he was gone.. dead murdered before his eyes before Istas could even try to explain. But Renegade… He clearly liked girls if he was being so forward with Never, he wouldn’t understand either though so far he seemed different than most would be if they figured out they were being close with another male. He wasn’t willing to risk it though, he didn’t want to be let down again.

They never seem to catch my eye but I never wondered why