[ male ] [ six ] [ mateless ] [ imprintless ] [ covet x malina ]

When Iscariot found a place to fit in, then he'd been happier. He would have something real to hold onto rather than just a mindset and values. It would be something tangible, something he could say he was a part of. Maybe it was because he had never felt like he really belonged before that pushed him to that, and he knew it was because he had been tossed away by his parents that made him so want to be worth more than he was now. To show the world that he mattered, he had a place and a reason. It's what he wanted so badly.

He knows that these things had changed him when he was younger, and that if he'd had a normal upbringing and a real family, he would have turned out much different from what he was now. He was driven by those experiences and those feelings of abandonment, and there was nothing he could do to change any of that now. He could only go forward, keep pressing on. And he would. Maybe he had to do that with caution, had to make damn sure he knew what he was getting himself into, but that was just his mistrust peeking through.

There was no comfort in knowing someone else had to deal with a harsh childhood or longer, because it only meant there were more creatures out there just as bad as his parents, and Iscariot didn't like thinking about it that way. He pushed it from his mind when Renai spoke again, and he gives a nod of his head to what she's said. "It's good, not needing to hide. Pretending can be an awful burden." He responds evenly, knowing that to be too true. Even now he doesn't feel he could fully be himself. There was too much on the line.