I am the razor in the hands of your heart;
And I am the razor in the hands of God.
It was Evaline's first winter season off Salem, and the palomino mare was understandably miserable. It had taken her so long to acclimate to the dry heat of the desert island, and as such, it was taking some time to rid herself of it now. Luthien hardly had the worst winters among the islands, but the damp and the cold clung to the mare's old, brittle bones with a fierceness that made her feel her age for the first time in a long time. She didn't care for it. And she made sure everyone around her knew just how miserable she was, too. In some regards, this was a bit like deja vu. When Shamwari first traded his mother to Gabbar, the Arabian stallion of the Dunes, she was mortified. She made sure every member of his herd knew that she hated it there. But over time, things changed. Perhaps her decision to join Persephone in the Forest would eventually take a turn, too.
There were several factors that compounded Evaline's ability to assimilate into Persephone's herd, however. For one, the golden mare just decided to stay without any real conversation or commitment from the roan mare who led there. Evaline's youngest daughter, Tayla, lived there too. And despite the horrific beginnings of the filly's life, and her developmental delays, Evaline felt drawn to her now. If only because she harbored so much guilt, and had no one else to focus her attention to. But the real reason Evaline left her post in the Dunes after all this time was because of Valve. The fierce, black Akhal Teke mare whom she'd grown to love with every fiber of her being, had disappeared. Valve had abandoned her in the hot sands with no plan to return.
It took a long time for Evaline to realize this, and to give up hope that one day, she'd see the sleek mare rising elegantly from the surf like she had so many times before. It was heartbreaking. As such, she forced herself to leave too, reluctantly and begrudgingly. There was nothing left for her on Salem anymore. The loneliness was agonizing. She felt foolish thinking about it now, how she'd stand solemnly at the shoreline each day, her eyes peeled in search of one thing. Every so often her heart would rise into her throat when she thought she'd spy the familiar dark frame of the mare she loved among the choppy seas. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, Evaline wasn't fooled so frequently. Immediate loneliness turned to panic which eventually gave way to depression. At first it was easy for the mare to fill her worried mind with excuses. She must have gotten held up at the Crossing Isle. Or sometimes, an important, dire matter came up, but she'll be home as soon as she's saved the day for someone else. While Evaline was used to Valve's wanderings,, the black mare had never been away from Salem this long. She could feel it deep in her gut that something was wrong. Valve wasn't coming back.
The golden mare wasn't sure how much heartbreak she could take anymore at this age. It was the black mare who helped Evaline put the pieces of her own shattered life back together after her ordeal in the Lagoon. It was Valve who encouraged her to live for herself, not for her thankless children strewn across the islands. She was hard and stony and bitter as ever, but on the verge of falling a part yet again. This time, Evaline knew if she teetered to close too the edge, there would be nothing left to claw herself back to. She was too old. If she fell a part again, and without Valve, she would die.
So the Forest was her home now, no matter how foreign and unforgiving it felt. But on this particularly chilly day, as rain turned to sleet and the Forest floor grew thick with thick mud, Evaline fled. She took to the cold seas and headed in the familiar direction of Salem. She knew better than to think she'd see Valve there again. But she needed some kind of reprieve. Perhaps just a short, dry stroll over the familiar sand dunes would be enough to put her mind at ease. Then, she'd return to the home she loathed so much.
17 | Arabian cross |14.2 | Palomino | Mother of Kasabian, Shamwari, Vita Nova, Paradiso, Ruxin & Talya | Vinyl |